


Lethargic

by DapperSquid



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Character Death, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Haunting, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, JD Dies Instead of Heather Chandler, Lesbian Character, Mental Illness, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PAST Veronica Sawyer/ JD, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secret Relationship, Slow(ish) Burn, Smut, Trauma, ghost! JD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DapperSquid/pseuds/DapperSquid
Summary: What if Jason Dean died instead of Heather Chandler?
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Heather McNamara, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 78
Kudos: 301





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Detailed Description of Death, Suicide, and Panic Attacks if this is triggering to you please do not read.

"Remind me again why we're going to Heather's house?" JD asked incredulously as he revved the engine of his motorcycle. Veronica sighed, and tightened the strap of her helmet before climbing onto the bike behind him. Jason grinned as she wrapped her arms around his abdomen and winked in mock flirtation. She huffed a laugh and slapped his shoulder as they road down the street, the fog parting around them like velvet curtains. 

"Because, I have to apologize," she reminded him. 

"But why? You didn't do anything to prompt an apology. She was the one who acted like a total bitch," he argued over the loud rumble of the engine. "If you ask me, _she_ should be apologizing to _you_."

Veronica barked a laugh at the idea, "The day Heather Chandler apologizes is the day Hell freezes over," she sobered slightly and sighed, "Plus, I need her in order to survive the rest of high school. It's like she said, without her, I'll be excommunicated from the school's social circle for the rest of Junior _and_ Senior year."

"You got me don't you? Plus I bet Martha will forgive you. So it isn't like you will be a total outcast."

Veronica smiled and kissed his shoulder in thanks as he glided to a stop at a stop sign. JD smiled and reached down to place a hand over hers in response. "As nice as that is you can't always be there to defend me," the boy scoffed in indignation at the argument but stayed silent, "Also, the Heathers aren't as bad when you get to know them."

"Somehow I highly doubt that," he replied before gliding to a stop in front of a large three story house that was lined with neatly trimmed rose bushes. "I don't understand how you can still defend her when she lives in a house this big. I mean come on, there are people dying of starvation and thirst and she has three fucking fountains in her yard," he threw his hands up in annoyance. 

Veronica chuckled and rolled her eyes as she removed her helmet, shivering slightly as a cool breeze ruffled her thin clothing. Why did they insist on wearing skirts in forty degree weather? Regardless, she squared her shoulders and walked towards the front door, ignoring the fact that her shivering had nothing to do with the cold. Heather's parents were most likely visiting her grandma- which is part of the reason why Heather slept in so late on Saturdays. Keeping this in mind Veronica snatched the key from behind their house plant and unlocked the door. Inside the mini mansion was a victorian styled foyer with a large crystal chandelier scattering fractals of light across the pristine marble floors. JD scoffed yet again at the sight, muttering something about capitalism in corporate America before following Veronica up the carpeted stairs. 

Heather's room wasn't really a room per say, really it was half of the third floor, save for the bathroom and guest room. Her father had hired people to knock down the walls separating three different rooms. Her walls were painted a crimson red with white accents around the room. Her four poster bed was made from a dark sturdy wood and silk sheets. Veronica felt a twinge of familiar twinge of envy as she entered the massive bedroom. That envy was short lived as it was quickly replaced by fear. Laying before her was Heather Chandler, laying on her back in a deceptively looking deceptively beautiful and serene as ever. She was like a lioness in that sense, graceful and confident and at the same time capable of honing those aspects into a lethal force. What did that make Veronica then? A naive gazelle that had unintentionally stumbled into her mighty claws, she snorted at the thought. 

She pushed these thoughts aside and cleared her throat, "Heather?" she called. She was suddenly all to aware of her own body as the sleeping girl shifted slightly. Her skin suddenly felt too itchy and hot and her breathing was too shallow to be normal. Still, she pursed her lips once more and said a little louder this time, "Heather, it's me Veronica." 

Chandler groaned loudly as sat up, removing her red silk face mask. "What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped, glaring at the intruders in her room. 

Veronica felt her chest constrict as she scratched the back of her neck nervously, "I, uh, came to apologize for last night."

Heather cackled and stood, showing off her flawless long legs, "Hope you brought kneepads, Slut, other wise I don't see this apology getting too far," she mocked. 

The brunette wrinkled her nose at the comment but continued nonetheless," I think we both said somethings that we didn't mean-,"

She was cut off yet again by a manicured hand pulling her closer by the chin, "Do I look like I'm kidding? _Down."_ Heather released her chin and roughly pushed her away. Veronica stumbled, just barely being caught by JD, who looked two seconds away from murder. Muttering a 'thank you' she stood up right and slowly sunk to her knees. The only thing in the room that was on a lower level than her at the moment was her dignity as she felt her face heat up and her hands turn clammy in embarrassment. 

Heather's face twisted into a satisfied smirk as she gazed down at her former friend. "I- I am sorry for how I reacted last night," she paused and glanced back at her boyfriend who was now inspecting the carpet below him with increasing interest. "And, I hope I can make it up to you," Veronica forced out, meeting the stormy gray eyes boring into her. Chandler hummed and tapped her chin before sitting down daintily on the bed. She gave a look of mock consideration as Veronica cautiously rose from the floor. She wasn't sure what the etiquette for begging for forgiveness was. 

Heather finally stood once more, stepping closer to the taller girl, "If you and your fuck toy make me a prairie oyster I will consider your accepting that pathetic excuse for an apology," she said, her voice laced with condescending satisfaction. Veronica grit her teeth and nodded before striding out of the room, JD close behind.

"Prairie oyster... Tabasco, raw egg and..." she trailed off, pausing in front of the pantry. 

"Worcestershire sauce, salt, and pepper," Jason finished for her, grabbing the missing ingredients and setting them along side the eggs. 

Veronica raised an eyebrow, "Impressive."

He shrugged and grinned, "My dad trained me well, what can I say?"

"However, if you really wanna knock that hangover on its ass I recommend No Rust Build Up," he teased, grabbing the jug of Drano from under the sink.

She chuckled as she prepared the hangover cure, "Don't be an ass that would kill her... besides she would never drink something that looks like that," she reasoned. JD pondered this before grabbing two identical mugs from the cupboard, setting one in the in the coffee machine and proceeding to pour the blue liquid into the other. 

"I'm serious, pour that shit out, it isn't funny." Jason ignored her, instead opting to make himself a pot of coffee. Heather's very expensive coffee, Veronica noted with annoyance. 

"C'mon Ronnie, it was a joke, now lets deliver the drink to your Highness up there... but I'll take the Drano just in case," he added grabbing his white mug of coffee and the identical mug of Drano. Veronica scowled but stayed silent as the two climbed the endless set of stairs. After knocking, she gingerly entered the room, tapping her fingers nervously on the glass in her shaky grasp. She glanced over at JD who was placing one of the mugs on a writing desk in the corner of the room. 

"Took you two long enough," Heather huffed before snatching the hangover cure away from the other girl. She downed the concoction without the slightly trace of a grimace and slammed the glass down on her bedside table. "Is Jesse James over there drinking my coffee?" she asked, with a scowl on her face. "Both the mug and the coffee are worth more than his house's mortgage."

Jason stared back at the queen bee, his eyes never leaving her own as he held up the mug, "You mean this coffee?" he mocked before, taking a long, slow drink. Time seemed to slow as her boyfriend's smug face turned ashen and pale. He let out a strangled gasp, clutching at the column of his throat. The mug fell onto the glass coffee table, JD not far behind. 

"SHIT JASON!" Veronica cried, rushing over to her boyfriends side, ignoring the glass shards littering the ground. Her adrenaline tangoed along side her panic as she grabbed the intact mug. The insides were stained an electric blue. 

"FUCKING SHIT," She yelled louder, Jason Dean had fallen victim to his own cruel joke. Except it wasn't a joke anymore. No, jokes were intended to make others laugh, and Veronica was the the farthest from amusement as a human could get. Nausea joined the dance of terror in her stomach as she rushed past a highly confused Heather and into the bathroom. Nothing left her but dry heaves and choked sobs as she grasped the toilet. After what seemed like hours, Veronica's heaving settled to a minimum, leaving nothing but shellshocked terror and knots in her stomach. Tears pooled together on the tiled floor, as her lungs seemed to shrink in size. Oxygen couldn't seem to enter her lungs anymore, and she no longer felt tethered to her body. Nails seemed to poke against her chest, fighting to break free of her ribs, causing shooting sparks of pain to burst through her body. The spacious room now seemed like the size of coffin. Veronica didn't register the sound of bare feet approaching her. Nor did she quite see that blonde kneeling in front of her. She felt like she had dove into a lake with her eyes open, her surrounding were murky and overwhelmingly quiet as water filled her ears and nose. 

However, she was forcefully dragged to the surface as her head was jerked to the side. It was only when she opened her eyes and touched her cheek did she realize that Heather Chandler was crouched in front of her and that she had slapped her. The metaphorical water dripped out of Veronica's ears as she finally registered that Heather was talking. 

"You need to tell me what the hell just happened. I swear to God if this is a prank, both of you are literally dead," the blonde seethed, her eyes a tumultuous sea of emotion.

Veronica swallowed, trying desperately to suck in the air that had seemingly left the room entirely, her throat burned as she opened her mouth to speak. "I told him... I told him to stop but he didn't listen. I- I told him it wasn't a funny joke," she rambled, her voice raspy and weak. 

Heather narrowed her eyes, "Veronica! What the fuck are you talking about?" She snapped.

Veronica gasped, feeling her lungs start to burn at the volume of her friend's voice. She grasped at the tangles in her hair and pushed herself away from Heather. The blonde's presence was too much to handle right now, it was too big and commanding, for Veronica to focus. 

Heather seemed to notice this, her expression shifting into one akin to concern. She sighed and sat down across from Veronica "Look, Ronnie can you hear me?" She asked, her voice much softer than Veronica had ever heard it. Regardless, it felt like skewers digging into her ear canal and she felt herself flinching away. "I need to know you can hear me, Veronica," the blonde said, her voice almost a whisper now as she noted the brunettes fear. She hesitated for a moment before inclining her head in the slightest of nods. Chandler, ever observant, saw the confirmation and shifted so that she was sitting beside the girl, careful not to touch her. 

"I need you to breathe for me, Ronnie. Can you do that?" Veronica tried to comply however, she found herself choking on a watery sob instead. "Hey, hey you're going to be alright. Can I touch you?" Chandler followed up.

Veronica let out another shaky nod. Soon after she felt Heather's manicured hand grasp her own. She placed the the panicked teens hand over her chest and let out a long breath. "Mimic me, okay?" Veronica whimpered but complied. After feeling her friend let out long slow breaths she managed to suck in enough air to stop the burning in her chest. She must have shifted closer to Heather at one point because her head was practically resting on the other teen's shoulder. The blonde despite being tense, made no comment of it as she glanced over at the crying girl.

"Can you explain to me what happened now?" She asked voice almost back to normal. Veronica stiffened and shifted away from her at the tone and cleared her throat. 

She let out a breath and nodded before explaining her boyfriend's stupid joke. "He must have gotten the two mugs confused and accidentally drank the No Rust Buildup," she finished, scrubbing her face with her hands. "Fucking hell, Heather, what do we do now? We can't just leave him there who knows what the cops will think of it."

"Well obviously, Veronica," Heather Chandler growled in reply as she shot to her feet. Veronica followed suit and walked back into the bedroom. The former paused and turned around, "Your boyfriend was notoriously angsty right?"

She narrowed her eyes and scoffed, "Yes, I suppose. However, I fail to see how it's relevant right now," she replied, her voice sharp.

Heather batted her hand dismissively, "I'm getting there. Well, what if he committed suicide?"

Veronica's eyes widened and her stomach dropped to her feet, "You can't be serious, that's the best you could come up with? The police will never buy that!" She insisted, a lump forming in her throat. Not only had she lost her boyfriend but she also had to say goodbye to going to college anywhere outside a prison cell. 

"Do you have a better idea? It's either that or risk the chance of being convicted of murder," Chandler snarled back. "Now go get a pen and paper, we need to make this convincing." Veronica felt her stomach twist tighter as she grabbed the items and settled along side her friend.

Finally, after a solid half hour of bickering and writing, Veronica inspected the forged suicide note before her. She swallowed and began to read aloud:

_"Dear world,_

_My death could have been avoided had it not been for a myriad of trauma and minor events that had pushed me over the edge. Had it not been for the crushing weight of societies double standards,_

_perhaps I would still be around to tell you of this in person. My mother killed herself because of those standards, and because of my sorry excuse of a father figure._

_It is because of him that my burdens had to end so abruptly. So in a way, I suppose I have him to thank for the release of my sufferings._

_Best of regards,_

_JD."_

Heather nodded in approval, "Seems just melodramatic and angsty enough to be him," she confirmed.

Veronica scowled at her, "Can you refrain from making fun of my dead boyfriend for just one second? These were all things he actually thought, partly because assholes like you made him feel alienated his entire childhood so I would appreciate it if you just shut up for once," she seethed, her voice sharper than she had intended to make it. However, she was far past being even a little empathetic so she ignored the shocked expression on her former friend's face. 

Finally Heather stood, "Whatever, let's just get him in the car." Veronica grimaced but nodded, grabbing the boys feet. If someone were to have told her that she would be spending her weekend dragging the corpse of her boyfriend to her ex-best frenemies car, she would have accused them of being drunk, or insane. However, that was the reality she was stuck with, so she kicked open Heather's garage door and set JD in the back seat of Heather's Porsche without further complaint. The two road in suffocating silence, the weight of their cargo weighing down on both teens. Finally, Heather parked just outside of the woods that bordered Sherwood. The blonde, surprisingly kept her mouth empty of complaints and helped the brunette set up the crime scene. Veronica set the mug next to the corpse and the note in JD's jean pocket. The temperature had somehow dropped since riding to Heather's house and Veronica's knees and shins were sliced up from the broken glass. Yet, she felt numb as she gazed down at the boy below her. Ironically, this was the most peaceful she's ever seen him. The thought made her eyes tear up once more. 

"You didn't deserve this, JD. You had an entire life ahead of you, we were going to go to law school together, and have a big house with a white picket fence. We would have had a dog and a cat, maybe even a couple children. We would have been happy," Veronica said, gazing down at his pale face. "So so happy," she whispered, before leaning down to kiss his forehead. 


	2. Sycophants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica struggles to cope. A trip to the mall will hopefully take her mind off things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Mental Illness and Panic Attacks 
> 
> I promise we'll move on from JDronica soon y'all bear with me.

The police had arrived a short time after clearly disgruntled at being awoken so early on a Saturday. They had asked a few questions before shooing away so that they could work. That is how Veronica found herself sitting in tense silence while Heather drove down the empty streets. The brunette ran her fingers over the thick material of the trench coat folded in her lap. It was scratchy but warm and smelled of smoke, motor oil, and musky cologne. The mere sight of it made breathing increasingly difficult. She hadn't even known him for long, they had gone out to 7/11 two times and had sex once. So, if that was the case why was she so torn up about it? Veronica found herself gnawing on her already stubby nails, peeling off the blue nail polish as a result. JD had been different than any other guy she had gone out with in the past. He was kind and considerate despite his angsty exterior. He actually listened to what she had to say and challenged her ideas with his own opinions. In every way he was her equal. Now he was lying dead in the woods. Veronica winced and tore one of her hang nails.

"For fucks sake stop chewing your nails," Heather snapped, scowling over at her. The brunette winced and set her hands in her lap and stared at her lap. She was in no mood to throw a snarky reply back at the teen. 

Gulping she finally looked over at Chandler, who was practically boring holes in the windshield with how hard she was staring at the road. "Listen, I'm sorry for all this. I had no idea he would actually grab the Drano," she muttered.

Heather clenched her jaw, "Don't." Veronica's frown deepened and she opened her mouth to reply before Chandler slammed on her brakes in front of her house. She went to put a hand on her friend's arm however her efforts were slapped away.

"Get out." 

Veronica considered staying in the car just to prove a point, however, she didn't want the body count to be upped so she slid out onto the sidewalk. Heather raced away without a second glance. The world seemed to fade away into a black abyss as the girl stared down at the concrete. Her expensive Mary Janes that Heather had bought for her were scuffed and covered in dirt. She snorted, someone was dead and she was worried about her shoes. Maybe the Heathers really had rubbed off on her. She wanted to throw the shoes into the nearest gutter. 

Realizing that was an unwise decision considering the shoes were one of the most expensive pairs she owned, Veronica instead looked around the street. It was mostly desolate, with the exception of a few joggers on their morning route. A stray cat slunk along the sidewalk, looking for its morning meal. It was so normal Veronica almost couldn't believe she had just witnessed her boyfriend drinking drainer fluid. She felt anger rise in her chest at the sight. Her jagged nails dug into her palms as she stared at all the people passing by, oblivious of the tragedy that had taken place. How _dare_ they be happy and content when she felt like the world was going to collapse in on itself at any moment. 

Veronica pivoted on her heel and trudged through her front door. Inside, her parents were sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakes. Again, she felt her anger boil over at the mundane sight. So, just to make herself feel better, she ignored her parents completely and stomped up the stairs into her room. Her room was significantly smaller than Heather's in fact, she was pretty sure it was the same size as her bathroom. Regardless it was cozy, posters of movies, bands, and video games covered the walls head to toe. Her bed was a twin size with four blankets piled on top of it and twice as many pillows. However, as she slunk into her bed, the room had all the cozy comfort of a morgue. Despite the fact that she had numerous blankets piled on top of her as well as a few stuffed animals, the frigid mist that had seeped into her bones lingered. It enveloped he, turning her hands and face as blue as JD's face had been when he swallowed-

Veronica banged her fist against her headboard and buried her face in a large teddy bear named Ricardo. The ratty fur itched at her face almost as much as the trench coat she was currently wearing. Still, it was solid and familiar, so she grasped onto Ricardo with a desperation she hadn't felt since she was five. Tears soaked the bears heart shaped tummy as she curled around it, allowing herself to be wrapped in the scent of a boy she would never see again. Slowly, as she drifted into an apathetic slumber, she felt the blue tint fade from her fingertips. She dreamed of him.

She awoke around one to the sound of knocking on her door. Slinking out of bed, she realized her shoes were still on, along with her tights that were now bunched up from sleep.

"Come in," her voice was scratchy and thick from sleep. Timidly as if she could be snapped at at any moment, her mom walked into her room. 

"Honey, how was the party?" She asked, a slightly forced smile spread on her face. 

Veronica thought about the two-hundred dollar pair of heels she had projectile vomited, "Fine." 

Her mother winced as if she had been slapped, "Are you sure? You seem a bit... upset." 

"Yes, Mom I assure you the party was just fine." 

"Oh, was JD at the party?" 

She stiffened and set her jaw, "No, he hates parties."

"Then how come you have his jacket?" Her mom asked, cocking her head to the side like a curious dog. Veronica felt like screaming. Just once she would like her parents to stop sticking their noses in her personal life. 

"He just let me borrow it, okay? Why do you care so much anyway?" She shot back, nearly wincing at the harshness of her own voice. 

Her mother flinched away, "Honey, if somethings wrong, you can talk to us. It may not seem like it but we were once teenagers too," she placed a wrinkled hand on her daughter's shoulder. 

Veronica clenched her fists and blew out a breath to keep herself from smashing her head against the wall. "He's dead." 

Her mom furrowed her brows, "Come again?"

"JD, he was found dead in the woods with a suicide note," she explained, her voice surprisingly neutral. 

The older woman clamped a hand over her mouth and pulled the younger in for a hug. She murmured apologies and reassurances that Veronica could tell were mainly for her own benefit. Instead reciprocating the embrace, the teen pulled away and sat down on the edge of her bed. "Will you leave me alone now?" She asked, staring at the plastic glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. The other woman sighed and murmured something before exiting the room, leaving her daughter, once again to her thoughts. 

Veronica read somewhere that when left to its own devices, the brain starts to atrophy which can often breed despair and anxiety. Realistically, she knew that her brain had not been idle long enough to do such things, however she imagined this is similar to how it felt. The teen had listened to every playlist on her Spotify, and had settled on listening to One More Light and How to Save a Life on loop. Her parent's had given her the week off, figuring she could just do her homework from home. They had nearly given up on trying to talk to her, instead opting to leave her enough money to order food while they were away at work. She never did. It was Thursday and she hadn't had a single full meal save for a few chocolate bars, and a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Still, the trench coat never left her body. Along with the smell of cologne and cigarette smoke, it now smelled of body odor and junk food. 

There was one upside to her now self induced isolation however, it had given her enough time to catch up on homework. The Heathers had been like high maintenance pets, hard to keep up with and time consuming. Now that she was single, friendless, and home alone, she had finished two essays, an art project, and the Animal Farm which her English class had just started reading. Her teacher's had emailed her, commenting on her good work ethic despite having come down with a nasty case of Mono. Veronica snorted, if only they knew. 

Her phone, remained relatively untouched, save for checking Instagram or using the calculator app she had avoided unlocking it at all costs. Her notifications bar had become so filled with voicemails, missed calls, and messages that she had been forced to turn on Do Not Disturb. So, Veronica settled for reading and painting to pass the time. 

\--

"If she doesn't answer my messages soon I'm going to ride over to her house and kick her sorry ass," Heather Chandler snarled, staring at her five unread texts. When Veronica hadn't showed up on Monday, Heather figured maybe she was taking the day off to regroup her emotions. Not the entire fucking week. Seriously, Chandler hadn't even spent that much time mourning over her own grandfather. 

"She just needs time to cope, Heather. Ronnie really liked Jason," Heather McNamara said before going back to eating her salad. 

"Denial isn't the same as coping, Heather," Chandler snapped, stabbing her own salad with her plastic spork, "If she were coping she wouldn't be avoiding our messages, she would at least read them." 

Duke snorted and raised an eyebrow, "Careful Heather, if I didn't know any better I would say you cared." 

"Shut up, Heather," she shot back, causing Heather to deflate like a balloon. 

"Sorry, Heather." 

"It's bad enough that we have to attend that stupid school assembly about the 'epidemic of teenage suicide in the US'," Chandler quoted Ms.Flemming in a mocking tone. 

"It's an important subject," Mac chimed in hesitantly. 

"Oh please, Flemming doesn't actually give a shit that someone died. She hated Jason as much as the rest of us, she just wants the publicity," Heather replied. The other two hummed their agreement and continued eating silently.

Heather had stopped going on Instagram around Wednesday, everyone in school had suddenly started to act like they loved Jason Dean, like they were his best friend or something. It made her even angrier because she knew for a fact they were they same people who had laughed at her school shooter jokes. Of course, she knew that his death was sad, she wasn't completely emotionally stunted. However, sycophants were not the same as legitimate mourners, so based on the fact that she herself despised him when he was alive, she stayed silent on the matter. It did no one any good for her to pretend that his death had shaken her. 

To say she wasn't shaken _at all_ was an optimistic statement. No, she was shocked in another way. The way his face had contorted in pain as the drain cleaner burned through his esophagus has looped through her mind. It was horrific and awakening to see someone so full of life, lose that life in a matter of seconds. The force at which he had collided with her glass coffee table had sent a shock wave into Heather's shriveled up soul and made her do something she rarely let herself do. Reflect. 

She had spent practically the entire week considering how she had treated Veronica. Of course, the brunette had deserved it and _most_ of what Heather had all but screamed at the party was true. But, maybe she shouldn't have kicked the brunette out entirely, or threw her out of her car so abruptly. These thoughts sickened Heather and convinced her she was losing her edge. 

So, she did what queen bees do best, she took it out on her subjects. So far she had made five different people do her homework, she had shut down Duke's stupid comments approximately a million times, and had hooked up with Kurt in the janitor's closet twice. Not because Kurt was particularly _good_ at it, in fact when she had asked him if he even knew where her clitoris was he had looked at her strangely and answered 'like the big red dog from the books?'. She did it because it helped push out those thoughts, or _reflections_ as some pillowcase had decided to call them.

Her thoughts were cut off by the bell echoing across the cafeteria, she heard Mac mutter a goodbye as she walked off. She didn't deem to reply. Throughout the day Heather found her attention drifting to the phone in her pocket. She was certain Veronica hadn't replied, because why would she? However curiosity and something else she refused to name gnawed at her. It was now one pm and the idea of finishing the school day became unbearable. So, she texted the group chat. 

**Royal Bitches**

**1:15 PM**

**Queen Bee- im sick of this shit mr addam has been talking about the history behind wwii for 20 mins who wants 2 ditch & go 2 the mall**

**Lemony Maccet- sure! Im in calc anyway and I have no idea whats going on :D**

**Duchess- Sure. Heather, what does your name even mean? It makes no sense.**

**Lemony Maccet- it's like Lemony Snicket from a series of unfortunate events. And since my aesthetic is yellow and lemony like lemons... it was funnier in my head ;(**

**Duchess- Mac, have you even read the books?**

**Lemony Maccet- I did! In sixth grade! ヽ(^o^)ノ <3 **

**Queen Bee- A N Y W A Y S meet me in the bathrooms in 5 veronica ik u prob wont read this bc ur a pillowcase but you can join us @ the mall**

**Queen Bee- also heather i wouldnt b so picky abt heathers name when u clearly copied mine**

**Duchess- How exactly????**

**Queen Bee- a queen & a duchess in the same chat kinda similar if u ask me **

**Duchess- Not really, a duchess was the wife of a duke who WAS royalty technically. However, he was below the prince in terms of title and ranking, therefore lowering the duchesses status as well. And they were addressed as 'Your Grace' whereas queens were addressed as 'Your Highness' or 'Your Majesty'.**

**Queen Bee- Shut up, nerd no one cares about your exposition.**

**Lemony Maccets- I thought it was interesting! (๑‵●‿●‵๑)**

**Duchess- How come the only time you manage to use proper grammar and punctuation is when you're insulting me?**

**Queen Bee- its the principle of the matter**

**Duchess- ??? That makes no sense**

**Queen Bee- shut up and get to the bathrooms pronto**

Heather rolled her eyes as she turned off her phone, striding into the girl's bathroom. Duke and Mac were already there leaning against the sinks and chatting amongst themselves. The bathroom had already been cleared of any lingering students so they were alone. 

"I don't see why you bothered to invite Veronica, she won't show up," Heather Duke said as she fixed her hair. 

"I figured that maybe if I offer a way to get her sorry ass out of bed then maybe she'll reply," Heather replied. "Now come on, let's motor."

In the car Mac had opted to turn on her Britney Spears playlist in an effort to lighten the mood. It didn't work, Duke was too busy scrolling through Twitter to make conversation and Chandler was still pissed off from all the unread messages. The third Heather settled for turning up the music and staring out the window. 

"Veronica would have been complaining about the music choice by now," Mac spoke up solemnly, her blue eyes never leaving the houses that passed by.

"You act like she's the one who died, Heather. She'll be back next week," Heather replied, turning the more populated area of town. She had to admit, the bubbly teen had a point. Ever since Veronica showed up, their conversations had been lighter, more tolerable. Prior to her joining it was mostly just Duke making snide comments and Heather ordering the other two around. The brunette almost made them like a normal friend group instead of co-workers who had to put up with each other. Not that she would ever say that out loud, especially to Heather and Heather. 

"Heather has a point, Heather. You've been on edge all week, causing the rest of the school to be on edge as well," Duke pointed out from the back seat. 

Heather huffed and ran a hand through her hair, "Yeah, that's why she'll be sitting with us next week," she said. Both of the others looked up in surprise, Heather Chandler never went back on her threats. Ever.

"Really? I thought she was out for good," McNamara replied, eyes wide with surprise. 

"Well, she clearly needs us to look out for her. I mean, look at who she ended up dating. She clearly has a shit taste in men so it's only logical that we help fix that shit taste," Heather reasoned as she parked near the front of the mall. 

"You keep telling yourself that," Duke chimed before hopping out of the car.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh nothing really, just that you seem pretty attached to Veronica." 

"I'm not I am keeping her out of necessity. Who would get us out of class with fake doctor's notes if she's gone?" Heather reasoned in annoyance. Heather Duke raised her hand in surrender and proceeded to walk towards the entrance. 

\--

Veronica had once spent twenty hours in a car with her father doing nothing but listen to old rock-n'-roll and playing I Spy. She remembered stopping at a convenience store and feeling her legs tingle and pop from misuse. She would take that level of boredom over her current situation. She had ate through four books and had finished three paintings. She had been painting since the seventh grade and had gotten quite good at it. Her newest ones were portraits, one of a woman with smoke pluming from her eyes and mouth, the edges of her brown hair were on fire. She was screaming and clawing at her throat, which was red and bruised from the effort. The other two were of abstract looking monsters in different fighting positions. The unintentional symbolism of her pieces was not lost on her, and she resented herself for it. She did not want to become one of those tortured artist stereotypes that she saw in media. 

So, that is how she found herself unlocking her phone and opening the Messages app. She had forty unread messages. Four from Martha, two from Betty, several from the Heather's group chat, and most surprisingly five from Heather Chandler herself. She swallowed and opened Martha's first, just to be safe. She said the usual shit when someone dies, the I'm so sorry's and the I'm here for you's. Betty's is no different. Heather Chandler's are the most surprising. 

**Tuesday 4:43 PM**

**Evil Queen- if ur skipping just cause u dont want to face your fate its just delaying it**

**Wednesday 2:30 PM**

**Evil Queen- Seriously stop throwing urself a pity party and get your ass to school ppl are starting to think you offed urself too**

**Thursday 10:13 AM**

**Evil Queen- I know you aren't reading my messages, you have your read receipts on. Look, I'm sorry about Jason he was an ass but you clearly seemed to like him. But you have to move on with your life sometime.**

Veronica was stunned by the messages, not only was one of them using proper grammar but she actually _apologized_ for what happened. It was almost as if Heather Chandler was... concerned. Veronica somehow found that more disturbing then her usual lack of concern. Regardless, she moved on to the group chat. Most of the messages was just their usual gossip or bickering, she snorted at the argument over Mac's profile name. Leave it to her to make random references to try an lighten the mood. Her vague sense of amusement faded however when she saw that Heather had invited her to the mall merely fifteen minutes ago. She felt her heart speed up at the sight.

What if it was a trap? The Heathers luring her into a false sense of security only to humiliate her and ditch her after. Then again, Heather had seemed genuine in her concern in their direct messages so she doubted it. And.... she really didn't have anything else going on. Obviously. Veronica let out a loud groan and scrubbed at her face with her hands before rolling out of bed. She grabbed a new set of sweatpants and an old band t-shirt from sophomore year then slunk into the bathroom. She winced at her reflection, having been avoiding it the entire week. After dousing her hair with dry shampoo, Veronica changed into the semi fresh outfit, applied nearly half the tube of deodarant and coated herself in body spray. Her mother had Thursday's off most weeks so Veronica opted to ask her for a ride to the mall.

Her mother's eyes widened to the size of saucers, "Really, why?" she asked stunned.

"The Heathers invited me," she explained, her voice hoarse from misuse. 

"Oh," her face fell at the mention of the trio, however she kept smiling, "of course, Dear I will also send some money to your bank account so that you can buy stuff while you're there. Maybe some new shoes... or food from the food court." Veronica nearly rolled her eyes, her mother had never been subtle. 

"I'm not very hungry but I'll think about it, thanks." Her mom nodded and lead them to their beat up pickup truck. Heather had always made fun of the rusty vehicle much to Veronica's embarrassment. Her dad worked as a middle school English teacher, whereas her mom worked part time at a doctor's office. So, it was safe to assume the twenty year old pickup was all they could afford. It was one of the reasons Veronica avoided invited the three over like the plague, she was ashamed. Her house was a small two bedroom with one bathroom and a small conjoined living room, dining room, and kitchen. Mac had always been polite about her lack of wealth choosing to say that it was cozy rather than a 'hovel' or 'shed' as the other two were fond of calling it. 

The two road in silence, the rumble of the engine filling the silence. When they arrived her mom squeezed her hand and chirped for her to have fun with her friends. Veronica decided not to correct her on the term friends, as it was a stretch considering that Chandler still hated her guts. Inside the mall was relatively empty considering most people were at work or school. Veronica pulled out her phone.

**Royal Bitches**

**1:50**

**Bluebird- I'm here. Where are you guys?**

A couple minutes passed and she felt her phone buzz. 

**Duchess- Holy shit you actually came?? Lowkey thought you were dead.**

Veronica winced at the wording but let it go. 

**Lemony Maccet- We're near Victoria Secret and Build-a-Bear! ＼(^o^)／**

**Bluebird- On my way there.**

Every cell in Veronica's body wanted to head back home and surround herself in JD's trench coat forever. Though, seeing as it was too late, she forced herself to take the escalator to the second level of the mall. She saw the three immediately thanks to their color coded clothing. With a long sigh the brunette headed towards them. Mac was the first to notice her. The shorter blonde grinned and practically tackled her in a hug. Veronica stiffened but patted the girl's back politely. 

"For fuck's sake Heather let her go," Chandler barked, walking over to them. She was dressed in white skinny jeans, a red crop top, and a shiny white leather jacket. Mac smiled sheepishly and pulled away.

Duke followed and stood beside the lead Heather as she studied Veronica, "You look... alive," she commented. 

"Likewise," Veronica grunted. 

"Alright, let's go shopping losers." 


	3. Echoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chandler doesn't know what human emotions are, and Veronica get's a surprising guest at the worst time possible.

Veronica's stomach felt as if it were eating itself from the inside out. Her minuscule meals based on chips and coffee had disappeared from her stomach as soon as they had entered it. Yet, as she stared down at the family sized nachos the Heathers had ordered, she felt nauseous. The idea of eating the cheap corn chips and artificial cheese made the girl's stomach tighten into knots. So, she settled for sipping her water and fiddling with the draw strings on her pants.

By that time school had ended and the mall had filled with bored teens with a little too much pocket change. She felt as if their eyes were piercing into her, burning with judgement.Everyone knew of her past relationship with JD, thanks to Duke's big mouth, so the idea that there were rumors about her floating around did not escape her knowledge. The idea both infuriated and embarrassed her more than she cared to admit. The first instinct for teenagers when hearing about a dramatic event was to gossip. They whispered and stared treating the victim as an animal in a zoo with complete disregard for the person's feelings. That being said, Veronica was not surprised in the slightest when Courtney strode up to their table. Presumably to peer through the bars of her zoo exhibit. 

"Veronica, Oh my God!" she exclaimed, resting her tacky acrylic nails on the table, "I haven't seen you at school in forever!" Veronica resisted the urge to sink lower in her chair at the volume of her voice. People glanced over at them at the mention of her name before turning back to their friends. "Where have you been?"

Veronica looked over at the Heathers, who looked more and more annoyed by the second. "I was sick with mono." Courtney frowned, disappointed with the answer. _Good_ , Veronica thought, _she should be_. She could tell more people had started to eavesdrop. A group of kids had settled down at the table nearest to them, their bodies aimed slightly towards her. 

"Well, I'm glad that you're better. Other than being sick, how are you? Anything going on?" Veronica looked over at the Heathers once more, silently pleading for them to say something, _anything_. 

"No," she answered, her tone clipped. 

"Really? I heard you were the first one to discover Jason after... you know. That would be hard on anyone so I'm not surprised you got sick," Courtney blabbered on, phony sympathy shining in her eyes like plastic gems. 

Veronica felt her chest tighten and her hands grow clammy as the teen's listening in turned curiously. Her face turned red as she willed the floor to open up and swallow her hole. Their eyes dug into her, chipping pits and pieces off her, making her feel hopelessly small. How was she supposed to respond? There was no good way to reply to a statement that was so clearly rigged. Her mind clambered for a response, Courtney's beady eyes never leaving her own. 

Finally, Heather McNamara swooped to her rescue, "Oh girls, we need to go, my mom just texted me to say the pizza is here for our sleepover. Veronica, you were going to help carry my shopping bags to the car, right?" She asked, holding out her hand to her panicking friend. 

Veronica forced a smile and nodded, "Yes, of course," she helped me up and handed over four large paper bags. Heather Duke and Chandler threw a brief goodbye to Courtney before following them out the door. As they stepped outside, Veronica felt her chest loosen. The prying eyes were gone now, leaving her with room to breathe. 

"Thank you, Mac," She muttered over to the short blonde, offering a brief smile. 

"Anytime Veronica, I could tell it's tender subject. Courtney has never been the best at subtlety," Heather replied before opening the trunk of her yellow Lamborghini.

"Or social cues," Chandler added on, setting her own bags beside Mac's. 

"... Or at not being a total bitch," Duke chimed in. 

Veronica smiled and let out a small chuckle at the comments. Her shoulders loosened as she climbed inside the car and onto the pristine leather seats. The trio had taken their time in intervening, regardless they had eventually saved her from the dreadful encounter. The Chandler climbed into the back seat beside her whilst Duke got in the passenger side. The three drove in relative silence save for the occasional humming along to a song that came on. Veronica stared distantly out the pristine window, watching the houses pass by. Duke and Mac had started talking about something that had happened at school that week, however, Veronica found herself sinking into her thoughts. 

Surprisingly, being around the Heathers of all people, has made her feel more at ease than she had been all week. Veronica snorted quietly, she really was desperate for human contact if she was relieved to be around people like Duke and Chandler. Well, that wasn't exactly fair, she supposed. They were nice enough when they wanted to be. For instance, a freshman girl had been invited to one of Ram's senior party by the host himself. Everyone in Westerburg knew that the only time Ram and Kurt invited a freshman to a party was to get in their pants. 

The freshman had found that out the hard way when Sweeney had started making drunken advances. The entire party could tell she was clearly frightened of him. Chandler had taken notice of this and had intervened by pretending that the girl was her cousin. The three of them had offered to drive her home early. Veronica smiled at the memory and glanced back at them. 

Mac was singing quietly to herself while waiting out the red light they were stopped at. Chandler was idly scrolling through her phone, and Duke was playing with a stress toy Heather had in her car that was in the shape of a grumpy black bear. Veronica's heart clenched at the sight of the stress toy. JD had always said that his spirit animal would be a black bear, because he liked to sleep and he was big and scary. At the time Veronica had laughed and said that he was about as scary as a bear cub. She squeezed her eyes shut and blocked out the sight of the squishy bear. 

Lately, everything reminded her of him. From her father's cologne to the an empty box of Malboros she had found crushed in the back of her closet from freshman year. Hell, she couldn't even step inside of a Seven-Eleven without feeling as if she were going to puke. Veronica practically jumped out of her skin when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She glanced down to see a text from Heather Chandler.

**4:23 PM**

**EvilQueen: U good??**

Veronica glanced over at the girl, her attention hadn't turned from the conversation she was currently having with McNamara. The brunette pursed her lips and looked back down to the screen.

**Veronica: Why do you ask?**

**EvilQueen: U've been distant since the encounter with Courtney**

**Veronica: I'm fine.**

**EvilQueen: Bullshit, Veronica I know you think youre subtle with your emotions, but you arent. The look on your face when Courtney mentioned Jason was nearly the exact same from last Sunday. You looked 2 seconds away from bolting. Not to mention you didnt even touch the nachos we ordered.**

**Veronica: I don't know... I've just felt off lately is all I think about him a lot so when people mention him I guess it's just jarring. And as for the other thing I'm just not hungry.**

**EvilQueen: How long have you been "not hungry"?**

**Veronica: It's not important, I'm eating enough. I don't see why you care anyways, you don't gain anything from giving a shit about me.**

**EvilQueen: Because its only been a week and I can already tell youve lost weight Veronica. Im not stupid and Im also not completely heartless. Ive seen what not eating enough can do to a person... I dont want that to happen to anyone especially not you, youre my friend.**

Veronica felt her lip quiver slightly and her eyes start to burn. She glanced up at Heather who was gazing at her with an expression the other girl couldn't quite place. Veronica smiled and reached a hand across the seat divider, Chandler hesitated before placing her own on top. The brunette felt her face heat up as butterflies danced through her stomach. Heather's hand was soft and incredibly warm. Her grip was gentler than Veronica had expected from the Demon Queen herself. A dopey smile spread across her face as she intertwined their finger's together. Neither let go until they arrived at Mac's house. 

Heather McNamara's house was more of a motel than an actual home. The 'house' consisted of 8 guest rooms, 2 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, two living rooms/common rooms, and a big ass basement filled with movie posters, TVs, couches, and gaming consoles. Veronica always found that last part weird, McNamara never played video games, in fact the only games she played at all were the apps on her phone. Rich people were strange with how they spent their money. 

McNamara's mother, Rachel McNamara, was a woman with a kind face and hair that was now more gray than blonde. She greeted the four of them at the door with offerings of pizza, wings, and lemonades. The four girl's thanked her before carrying the treasures down to the basement. Mac claimed a giant beanbag chair, Duke sitting beside her in a fluffy leather recliner. Veronica half expected Chandler to sit on the other end of the couch, assuming the handholding would have been the extent of her kindness for the day. Instead, she sat right next to her so that their feet brushed against each other. 

Heather did this all with a casual expression, as if this was something she did all the time. Still, she was warm and the crop top she was wearing revealed her slender arms. Veronica basked in the feeling as Mac and Duke bickered over which movie to choose. Finally, when they couldn't decide, they settled on watching Veronica play Outlast. While the Xbox was booting up, Chandler handed her a slice of pizza, it was a meat lover's pizza. The brunettes favorite. 

"Want a slice? You must be hungry," she offered.

Veronica pursed her lips, "No I'm not very hungry." 

Chandler narrowed her eyes and thrust set the slice on a plate before placing it in her lap, "It wasn't a request, Ronnie. Now eat."

Veronica grumbled before taking a bite of the pie. It tasted like she was eating soggy wood chips. Still, when she finally swallowed Heather gave her a genuine smile that made her stomach feel fluttery. She ate two slices and a buffalo wing.

"Good, now prove to me how scary this game supposedly is," the queen bee ordered, a small grin on her face. 

"Wait this is a horror game?" Mac squealed, burrowing deeper into her beanbag. 

"You own the game and yet you don't know what it's about?" Veronica questioned as she hit the new game banner. 

The blonde shrugged, "My dad buys random shit for me when he know's he'll be away on business for more than a month," she explained. Veronica resisted the urge to scowl at the mention of her father. Thomas McNamara was particularly distant man who was almost always out of town negotiating trade deals or whatever it it business people do. Hell, Veronica hadn't even seen the man in person yet, just in photos Mac had next to her bed. Based on Duke's tight expression, the brunette assumed she wasn't too fond of the man either. 

McNamara let out a loud yelp and leaped out of the beanbag just as a man hanging from a noose fell from the ceiling as Veronica's character opened a door. The blonde clambered up to sit next to Duke in the recliner. The Korean girl huffed in annoyance but wrapped her arm around the frightened girl, allowing a shaking Mac to burrow into her side. Chandler snickered at the two and took a sip of her lemonade.

"It isn't funny, Heather!" McNamara snapped, face never leaving the crook of her companion's neck. 

"Oh trust me Mac, it's pretty funny," Chandler replied, leaning against Veronica, who was now immersed in the game. 

"Whatever," Heather huffed, nuzzling closer to her friend. Duke mumbled in protest, however, made no move to pry the girl off of her. 

Heather opened her mouth to retort when Veronica let out a loud curse, "Fucking Christ!" she yelled nearly jumping out of her skin at a jump scare. She tried adjusting herself while trying to escape her current predicament when Chandler's thigh shifted, causing the Brunette to topple across her lap. Veronica didn't have time to pay attention to her new position as she recovered from the attack and climbed into the air ducts. Chandler let out a particularly out-of-character squeak and stiffened as they collided. 

Duke laughed, "How romantic," she mocked from her place on the recliner.

Heather scowled and threw a pillow at her and Mac, "Says you. You and Mac have been cuddling like a couple of lesbos over there for almost twenty minutes now."

Veronica paused at the comment and glanced up at Chandler, furrowing her brows in discomfort. Heather was homophobic? The thought, while unsurprising, didn't sit right with the brunette. She had been semi-out of the closet as a bisexual since the tenth grade, so the idea of any of the Heathers being against gay people made her nervous. Veronica fiddled with her controller, which was now warm due to her hands starting to grow clammy. They were all she had now that JD was gone, so she couldn't risk them kicking her out again. What if they _did_ find out? Would Chandler out her to the entire school? 

"Hey Ronnie, you good?" Chandler asked, peering down at the girl laying across her lap. Veronica simply nodded and continued playing, albeit absently. Heather seemed to take notice of this change, because she started stroking the brunette's fluffy hair. Despite herself, Veronica felt her body melt at the contact. The fingers traced patterns on her scalp and gently untangled her unruly curls. She shifted closer to Chandler now fully resting her head on the girl's lap. The teen's exposed abdomen was soft and warm like a blanket. 

The other hand started tracing patterns on her back lightly. Veronica found her body growing heavier, the game started getting harder and harder to focus on. The air around her smelled of cherries and vanilla and something entirely unique to Heather. The day seemed to catch up with her as her hands went slack, dropping the controller. Her eyelids felt heavy as her gaze dragged up to look at the blonde above her. Chandler smiled at her knowingly and continued her actions.

\--

"Holy shit, did she fall asleep?" Duke asked, shifting to get a better look.

"What a pillowcase," Heather Chandler huffed with less venom then she originally intended. She didn't stop her ministrations despite her words. 

"If I had the week she's been having, I would be tired too," Mac mumbled, face buried in Duke's shirt. Chandler hummed her agreement and shifted slightly to which Veronica responded to with sleepy grumbles. Heather felt a blush grow on her cheeks as the tired teen wrapped her arms around her waist. Every bone and muscle in her body demanded she shove the girl off her lap, to snap at her for being such a pussy. Yet, when she looked at the dark rings around her eyes and the thinness of her wrist she couldn't bring herself to move. God, Jason's death really had made her soft. Veronica was letting out quiet snores as she twitched slightly in her sleep. Despite herself Chandler smirked softly, she even slept like a dork. 

"Should we wake her up? I want to go to bed," Duke asked louder than Heather would have liked. 

After shushing her she shook her head, "No we'll just keep her down her. Knowing Veronica if we wake her up right now the insomniac will never get back to sleep," the blonde huffed, rolling her eyes. The other two nodded in agreement before standing, Mac stumbled slightly, being half asleep. Duke made sound of annoyance that was clearly forced before helping the shorter blonde up the stairs. When they were gone Heather gingerly stood, careful to support Veronica's head. She then grabbed a throw pillow and rested the brunette on it before draping a quilted blanket on top of her. 

Chandler stared down at the sleeping figure for longer than she cared to admit. She looked more peaceful than she had since arriving at the mall. Of course, she had always been a nervous fidgety person, Heather knew that. However, lately it had been different, less anxious and more... depressed. She hardly talked the entire time at the mall. The only time she did speak was when someone spoke to her directly. She hadn't even bought anything, just stared at the clothing racks dejectedly. "Oh, Veronica what am I going to do with you," she murmured, running a hand down Veronica's covered arm. The brunette mumbled and turned in her sleep in response. Heather Chandler smiled before striding up the stairs after her friend's.

\--

"So, you're really gonna forgive Heather? After everything she did?" 

Veronica jumped in surprise at the sudden awakening. She rubbed her eyes and ran a hand through her frazzled hair. It was around 2 am and the brunette was becoming increasingly annoyed at being awoken. The irritation didn't last long however, because when she looked up, there was Jason Dean, sitting in the bean bag chair below her. 

Veronica let out a loud yelp before muffling it with her hand. She scrambled over the back of the couch and stared down at the grinning boy. This was a twisted nightmare, it had to be. Her conscious was punishing her for refusing to eat and sleep. However, when JD stood, Veronica immediately fell backwards, her back colliding with the floor. The brunette winced at the sparks of pain that shot up her spine, so much for it being a dream.

JD seemed to radiate a pale blue glow, illuminating the surroundings like a glow stick. His eyes were milky and glazed over, his skin was pale with a bluish tint to it, almost as if he were a Tim Burton character. He was wearing a black suit, what he was buried in Veronica presumed. She hadn't been invited to the funeral so she didn't know.

Her pondering was cut off by Jason stepping closer, through the couch. She yelped once again. "How the _hell_ are you _here_?" she cried. This wasn't possible, she didn't believe in an afterlife or anything like that. However, that didn't mean she believed in _ghosts_. 

"Simple, I had unfinished business and all that jazz," he replied, an easy smile on his face as if this happened everyday.

"B-but why am _I_ your unfinished business? Why not haunting your shitty father for the rest of his life?" 

JD snorted, "And be stuck with him for the rest of my eternity? No thanks. Plus, with how much that man drinks and smokes, he only has five years left in him tops." The ghost chuckled at the thought and floated in the air reclining on his back as if in a chair. "Also, to answer your question, I left you relatively alone. The Heathers aren't very good company, so I'm here to make sure you move on from me." 

Veronica swallowed and slowly stood, her knees wobbling slightly from under her. "So, you're really here?" she asked quietly, looking him up and down. JD just shrugged in response. The girl collapsed on the couch, her head in her hands. She saw more than felt the ghost sit down next to her. "Why the fuck did you choose to show up in the middle of the night?" she snapped, glaring over at him.

"Death knows no time, Veronica my dear," he drawled.

"Well life does, and thanks to your stupid ass 'joke' I haven't been sleeping for shit the past week." 

"Fine, go back to sleep you stick in the mud. I'll be here when you awake." With that, JD disappeared just as soon as he reappeared.


	4. Look at You, Strawberry Blonde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of eating disorders and depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, my stupid brain decides to procrastinate for weeks on end because I lack ~Motivation~. Enjoy Veronica being a big stupid gay!

The pizza was sitting in her stomach like a cold brick as she stared down at her cereal. Heather's cook was off duty for the day so the four of them fended for themselves. Not that Veronica minded, she wasn't going to eat anything anyway, not when her stomach felt as if it was going to collapse in on itself. Not when JD could show up at any moment, the thought made her grimace. She missed Jason obviously, however, in her past experiences the dead should stay dead. They should not appear in your friend's basement at two in the morning. 

What did he mean when he said he was going to make sure he didn't leave her alone? _That little shit was always too damn ominous for his own good,_ she thought _._ Did he mean friends? She already had friends, even if he didn't like most of them. If he meant a more romantic relationship then he was out of luck. She wasn't interested in any of the guys in Westerburg, and she was quite sure all of the girl's were straight. Well, at least all the girl's she was into. Veronica glanced over at Heather Chandler and sunk lower in her chair. JD was going to be here for a while. 

Heather McNamara grabbed her bowl and frowned, "You barely at any of it, Ronnie." Veronica shrugged and rested her chin in her hand. 

"I'm just not hungry I guess."

Chandler stood up and glared before setting her own bowl in the sink, "If I hear you say that one more time I'm going to slap you," she groused. 

"It's true though, I'm still full from the pizza," she protested, crossing her arms over her chest. Well, it was half true at least, close enough.

"That was like, forever ago," Duke argued, taking a bite of her cereal. 

"It was not," she snapped, "and what do you care? You don't eat either." Veronica regretted the words immediately after they left her mouth. Heather had struggled with Bulimia and Anorexia since middle school. The other Heathers had been cautious when bringing up her disorder ever since they found out, and here she was throwing it back in her face. Guilt started to chew at her like a dog with a bone. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that. It just came out and I-"

Duke Smiled dryly and placed a hand next to Veronica's, "It's fine Sawyer, I know you didn't mean it, don't sweat it too much. I just said that because I know where this can go if you don't take time to take care of yourself." 

Veronica chuckled nervously, "I am taking care of myself, there's just a lot on my mind is all," she explained.

Chandler groaned and rounded the table before grabbing the back of the brunette's chair. She then dragged both the teen and the seat away from the table so that she was facing her. Veronica grumbled and looked down at her bare feet. "We are going to fix what ever is going wrong with you, even if it means skipping school to do it," she growled as she grabbed Veronica's shoulders and hauled her to her feet. "Now go get dressed." 

"I don't need a babysitter... or three," Veronica mumbled, kicking her feet against the marble floor. "I'll just go home, you three can go to school, I'll be fine," she insisted, starting to head for the door. 

Heather grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, "Duke Mac, go upstairs and get dressed," she barked. The duo nodded and hurried towards the stairs. When they were gone, she was lead towards the living room. Heather pushed her down onto the couch and stared down at her. 

"Ron-Ron, I know this might sound harsh, but you need to pull that stick out of your ass and relax," Veronica pursed her lips and tucked herself further into the cushions. Heather sighed and sat down next to her, "I know what happened was shocking, trust me. I've thought about it too... a lot. But you can't keep avoiding the people who care, because that's a fucked up way of coping with loss."

"But... I don't wanna be a burden," Veronica mumbled.

"Veronica, as someone with no filter, I would have told you if you were a burden," Chandler smiled wryly, grabbing the girl's hand. 

"I guess... but-"

"... But nothing, you might be a giant pillowcase most of the time. But after what we saw that day..." Heather trailed off before clearing her throat, "I think you're justified in being upset." 

Veronica frowned at her friend's shift in tone she almost sounded... sad. It never occurred to her that Heather was effected by everything that happened. Though, in retrospect it made sense what happened would effect anyone. However, Heather Chandler always seemed untouchable. Like a mountain, she was bold and unmovable to the point where sometimes she seemed inhuman. Veronica winced at how insensitive that sounded. Of course Heather was human, maybe she needed reassurance like everyone else. 

"Heather, are you okay?" she asked, shifting closer. 

She stiffened, "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" 

"You were there too, I would understand if you were shaken by it too," she explained, placing a hand on the girl's knee.

Heather scowled, "I am fine, I didn't even know Jason that well. Trust me Veronica, I'm good."

"Okay, if you're sure. But, if you aren't you can talk to me. Okay?" 

Heather shrugged, "If it makes you feel better, then okay."

Veronica smiled, "Thanks." 

She grinned and placed a hand on top of the brunette's head, "No problem, pillowcase." Veronica chuckled and batted her hand away. "We're still skipping school with you though. It isn't fair that you got a whole week off of school and we didn't."

"Fine," she groaned. "But I need you three to stop hovering, it makes me nervous."

"We do not _hover,_ " Heather insisted.

"You so do," Veronica giggled as the other teen pushed her away, grumbling. 

"Whatever, go get dressed."

"I didn't bring clothes, can't I just wear these?" Veronica looked down at her wrinkled clothes. 

Heather frowned, "Absolutely not, those rags are disgusting. They smell like sweat and sadness."

"They aren't rags! And they only smell like sweat a little bit," she insisted before bringing her nose up to the collar. She grimaced, "Fine maybe they do a little." 

Heather snickered, "C'mon, Heather and Heather are both too small so you'll have to wear some of my extra clothes," she yanked Veronica up by the hand and lead her up the stairs. Veronica gaped at the clothing in Heather's hands, it was a red lace halter top with black distressed jean shorts. Veronica wasn't against revealing clothing, she didn't care what people wore. However, her body was gangly and awkward and not suited for revealing clothing at all. 

"D-do you have anything else? This isn't really... my style," she stuttered, scratching the back of her neck.

Heather smirked and stuffed the clothing into her arms, "You'll be fine, just put it on you prude." 

Veronica grimaced but grabbed the clothing and reluctantly trudged into the bathroom attached to Heather's bedroom. She carefully stripped off her hoodie and sweatpants, wincing at the sight of her bony body. Her ribs were slightly visible under her sports bra, not to mention the acne she had accumulated over the week. And how was she supposed to explain the numerous angry cuts on her knees and shins? Fell off her bike? No they don't look like scrapes. Dropped a glass on the ground? It would have to do. 

"And I thought I looked like shit after my death," Veronica jumped as JD fazed through the shower curtain. "However, you take the cake, my love," he gestured up and down her body for emphasis.

Veronica frowned and crossed her arms over chest, "Can't you stay out of my business for like two seconds?" she hissed quietly. Glancing back at the bathroom door, she flipped on the fan in order to drown out the sound of her voice. 

JD laughed and perched on the marble counter, "Oh please, I've seen you naked before," he dismissed. 

"It's still rude," she grumbled, grabbing a spare toothbrush from under the sink. 

"Those cuts look bad. They'll probably scar you know," he said, ignoring her previous comment. "Don't worry it'll look badass. Like a scar from a bar fight." 

Veronica spat out her toothpaste and glared at the ghost, "Why would I have scars on me knees from a bar fight?" she asked.

JD smirked, "Gave a guy a blowjob in the middle of it?" 

"You're an asshole," she flipped him off before turning back to the mirror. 

"More of an asshole than those three out there?" He stood from the counter and wandered closer to her. 

"What do you have against them? Sure they can be dicks but they can be nice too," she protested. Veronica felt strangely protective of the trio despite their obvious flaws. At school they were bitches, however, behind closed doors they were funny and borderline endearing towards each other. 

"They are terrible people, Veronica. They believe everyone is below them," he snapped, crossing his arms. Glowing blue drano dripped down his chin and stained his tie. 

"The Heathers are teenagers, JD. It's like our job to be shit heads," she ran a brush through her tangled curls, hoping to tame them. 

"Why are you defending them!" He growled, stomping closer to her. Veronica slammed her brush down and spun to face him. 

"You left me! You promised to protect me then you just disappeared. For what, a stupid joke? The Heathers are all I have left now," she hissed, 

Jason winced and backed away before disappearing behind the shower curtain. Veronica sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she stared at her tired form in the mirror. That was the first time she had admitted it out loud. All her life she had wanted someone strong and bold for her to stand behind. Someone who would take all her loose broken bits and embrace her until they all fit back together. JD had offered all that and more with his charismatic smirks and his take no shit attitude. Now she was alone without anyone to cling to when she felt like sinking. Veronica clenched her fists and stared down at the counter.

"Veronica what the hell is taking you so long? Haul your ass out here," Heather Chandler shouted, jerking the brunette from her thoughts. She roughly scrubbed the tears from her eyes and stood up straight. After pulling on the halter top and adjusting her hair, she finally stepped out of the bathroom. Chandler looked up from her place perched on Mac's desk chair, she gave Veronica an annoyed once over before turning back to her phone. Duke and McNamara were both sitting on the bed side by side talking quietly amongst themselves. 

"Finally, I was about ready to send in a search party for you," Heather said, standing up from her chair. 

"Sorry, I got lost in thought." Well, that was half true at least.

Chandler rolled her eyes, "You're such a scatter brain Ronnie, I swear," she scoffed. Veronica felt her face heat as she forced a chuckle. Heather stepped closer, her eyes dropping to the brunette's new clothing. She grinned and placed a hand on Veronica's bare arm, "See I told you you'd look hot. Now put this on," she stuffed the sparkly white leather jacket she was wearing yesterday into her arms. Veronica felt her blush deepen as she carefully put it on. The jacket was made from real leather, and was unbelievably warm and cozy. It also smelled of cherries and vanilla, Veronica had to stop herself from burying her face into the lapels of the leather jacket. Instead she smiled and thanked her quietly, trying to hold a goofy smile at bay.

What was wrong with her? The Heathers swapped clothing all the time and they never reacted like this. Hell, she never acted like this in the past. So why was she acting like an idiot over a jacket of all things? She glanced up at Heather, who still had an arm idly placed on her as she talked to the other Heathers. Veronica also hadn't realized how soft her hands were until yesterday in the car. They were so gentle that she wanted nothing more than to kiss each knuckle and- 

A shock wave ran through her as she processed her own thoughts. What the hell was wrong with her? Sure, she was bisexual, but _Heather_? The same girl who called Heather Duke, Heather Dyke for an entire month just because she kissed McNamara's cheek? Veronica suddenly felt sick as she gazed at the strawberry blonde. Her cheeks were rosy and splotched with constellations of freckles, her jawline was sharp and smooth like a freshly forged sword. Veronica's fingers itched to run through her soft locks, to stroke those perfect freckled cheeks. She wanted to shove her hand in a meat grater in retaliation. 

"Veronica?" Heather was now looking at her, a curious expression on her stupid cute face. 

"Y-Yes, sorry you were saying something?" She sputtered, trying to subtly step away from Chandler's tender grip on her arm. 

Heather rolled her eyes, "I was saying that we are going to the woods on the outside of town. You're coming with us," she explained.

"Why? I can just go home I don't want to be a bother," she rambled quickly, sweat starting to coat her hands and feet anxiously. 

"You need to get out of the house more than the rest of us, now come on," Heather Chandler grabbed her hand once more, and _Jesus_ they were warm. Were they clammy too or was that just her hand? Probably the latter, Veronica noted with dread. This was going to be a long day.


	5. Boyshorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobic language!!  
> They go swimming in a pond, Veronica lets something slip. Duke is less of a bitch than Chandler right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was kind of triggering for me to write tbh due to personal experiences.

The woods that lingered outside of Sherwood was more like a medium size patch of trees than an actual forested area. There was a thin trail that lead to a small pond that was mainly occupied by young couples looking for a romantic spot to make out. Well, as romantic as Ohio got. Veronica had went up there a few times with her parents when she was younger. The pond was always murky and spotted with lily pads that occasionally had fat toads resting on them. Overall it was the most serene area of their little shit hole of a town. However, in that moment it might as well have been the most chaotic, because Heather was telling her to take her clothes off.

Well that was a stretch, she was telling to take her shirt and pants off so that they could go swimming. The idea of getting mostly naked in front of the Heathers- Heather Chandler most of all- made her whole body tense. Veronica knew she wasn't ugly but, she was nothing compared to the three girls before her. All three of them had boys pining and swooning after them like dogs, not to mention they had practically all of Ohio following them on social media.

"Veronica, stop being a pussy for five minutes, it's fine," Duke called as she strode down the rickety dock. She was clad in a basic black bra and thong combo that would have made her blush if she didn't know the other brunette better. 

"Yeah Ronnie, the water is a bit cold but it's not terrible!" McNamara chirped as she doggy paddled closer to the edge of the water where she stood. 

"I know, I'm just waiting for Heather to get in," she insisted halfheartedly as she checked over her shoulder to wear Chandler was taking off her clothes. Her throat almost closed up as she took in the sight before her. Heather was wearing a lacy red bralette and a matching set of underwear. Her slender body was dotted with freckles that danced like gold in the midmorning sun. A waterfall of hair poured down her face and shoulders as set her red scrunchie on top of her folded clothing before sauntering over.

"We all know that's bullshit Sawer, now take off your damn clothes," Heather said walking over to the edge where Veronica lingered hesitantly. She propped her arm on the brunette's shoulder and leaned against her. "C'mon this is supposed to be fun and relaxing. Don't make me push you into the water, those clothes are expensive."

Veronica felt as if her whole body would combust at any moment, so she leaned away from the other girl and cleared her throat, "Fine, I'll just be um, over there changing," she mumbled, throwing a finger over her shoulder to gesture to a patch of trees. 

Chandler rolled her eyes, "Jesus Christ, just change here. No one cares." The brunette's eyes widened slightly as she looked over at the other two. Duke was now swimming around with Mac, who was trying to engage her friend in a splash battle. Biting her lip, she pulled off her halter top and gently set it on the ground. Heather grinned and and put her hands on her hips as she watched. Her sharp mercury eyes sent tingles down every part of Veronica's body they came in contact with. Why was she just staring at her like that? Was her body that gangly and awkward that it caught that much attention? She swallowed and untied her shoes before setting them beside the shirt. Her brown eyes never left the grey ones before her. Even when she was pulling down her shorts, she couldn't look away. Heather's eyes weren't judging exactly, they were more...curious than anything. Analyzing, like a war general before heading into a battle. Who and what she was fighting was unclear, but nerve wracking nonetheless. 

Finally, Heather looked away with a satisfied smirk, "Good, now let's swim." Veronica sighed and looked down at the water. It was gently lapping at the sides, coating the long grass in a layer of dew that shone like opals in the sun. Almost like Heather's eyes when they caught the light a certain way. She grimaced and shook her head to clear the unwelcome thought away before following the other girl. Stepping onto the dock, she heard the half rotted wood creak under her weight. The dock had to three times her age, considering it had been there since she was a kid. Just in case, she crept carefully as the platform swayed like a buoy under both of their feet. 

Suddenly, her feet slipped from under the boards and her body collided with the water. The frigid water sent shockwaves up and down her body as she gasped and sputtered as her legs kicked frantically in order to keep her afloat. When she finally managed to get air into her lungs properly, she realized the Heathers were laughing. She glowered and looked up at Chandler, who was sitting on the edge of the dock smirking at her. 

"What the hell, Heather?" she growled, running a hand through her now soaked hair. 

"Oh come on lighten up, Veronica. It was just a joke," she chuckled, slipping a stray hair behind her ear. Veronica ignored the way her stomach warmed at the small gesture. 

"Yeah, except I'm not laughing," she huffed before sinking under water. Her eyes burned and her vision blurred as she pried them open. Still she smirked slightly and floated up before grabbing a pair of slender ankles. Veronica's smile grew into a grin as she dragged Heather Chandler into the water. She felt the blonde jerk slightly above her as her head surfaced once more. Where Heather's face was irritated, her eyes were shining with humor as she ran a hand over her hair. Droplets of water had pooled in her collarbone and her ringlets of hair were now stuck to her cheeks and shoulders. 

"How the hell do you _still_ look perfect? I yanked you into the water," Veronica huffed, refusing to acknowledge the heat rising to her cheeks. 

Heather let out a husky chuckle and waded closer to Veronica so that their legs brushed against each other. "Oh Ronnie," she stroked a finger down the side of the brunette's cheek, "When are you going to learn? I always look perfect," She purred, her grin akin to that of a feline. Veronica gulped and sunk lower in the water, for the second time that day she was having trouble looking away from Heather. Just like the previous time, it was Chandler who broke their silent staring contest. She chuckled quietly before treading off towards Duke and Mac, the latter was staring at them with a strange expression. Veronica shot her a curious look, causing McNamara to grin strangely and dive back under water. She sighed, it was probably just Heather being her usual bubbly self. 

The rest of their time in the pond was spent splashing around and shooting witty quips back at each other. The bickering held no real malice behind it, which put Veronica at ease as she floated around on her back. Mac was content to doggy paddle around, occasionally provoking Duke by flicking water in her direction. The other Heather humored her by flicking water back and working to swim away from her. She later settled on picking Mac up bridal style in order to toss her into the deeper end of the water. Heather had giggled and bobbed up to the surface before tackling Duke down with her. Veronica smiled at the pair as they wrestled around the water, they had always been particularly close so she didn't question their behavior. 

The queen bee herself had settled on the grassy shore a while ago, a blanket wrapped around her to deflect the early fall breeze. Her hair had dried curlier than before, causing bouncy locks to frame her sharp jawline and cheeks. Veronica smiled slightly and dragged herself onto the dock with her hands before walking over to the girl. Heather looked up from her phone to smile slightly at Veronica in greeting. 

"There's towels in the Duke's bag, the blue one is yours, obviously," she said by way of greeting. Veronica nodded and grabbed the large azure towel before wrapping it around her body.

\--

Heather Chandler was a fucking mess. She had expected Veronica to be wearing a plain pair of granny panties and a Fruit of the Loom bra. Oh, how very wrong she was. Veronica was wearing a tight black sports bra and a pair of Wonder Woman boyshorts. Her curls were wet enough that they fell down passed her shoulders. Despite her sudden lack of appetite, she had decent abs that was unexpected of the usually geeky teen. The real problem though was, why the fuck did she care? She never noticed this before, so why did she give a shit now? Sure, Veronica wasn't bad looking, of course she wasn't Chandler wouldn't have let her in if she was. But, she was attractive in the way that all her friends were attractive. 

"Boyshorts really, Veronica?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

The brunette frowned and looked down at her lap, "What's around with my underwear?"

"Only lesbians wear those," she explained, the devastated look that crossed Veronica's face made Chandler's chest wrench in a way that was almost painful. 

"Heather, I'm bisexual. Also that's a stereotype," she replied, voice suddenly tighter than before.

"Isn't bisexual just a fancy way to say you like threesomes," she drawled, refusing to let her guilt cave in on her. 

"No that's also a stereotype, and a rude one at that. It just means I like boys and girls."

"Tomato tomato."

\--

Veronica felt her face heating with shame and rage as she scooted away from Heather. She had never been embarrassed of her sexuality before, however now with the blonde's heavy scrutiny she felt shame rise up within her. She was expecting this, she _knew_ Heather was homophobic, everyone in Westerburg was. Hell, even Martha had a hard time coming to terms with it when she found out. Of course, she had accepted her soon after and had no qualms with her sexuality now. Chandler seemed to be a different story. 

"What do you mean 'tomato tomato'?"

"Oh nothing, just that I guess I should have expected it from you. You give me dyke vibes," she replied, shrugging as if she hadn't just thrown a slur in her best friend's face.

Veronica felt something in her ache and swell as she stood, throwing her towel to the ground. Memories of her middle school years echoed through her as she glared down the Heather "Don't call me that."

"What, a dyke? It's what you are, I don't see the problem."

"It's an offensive term that I prefer straight people don't use to define me," she explained, jaw clenched.

"Okay then... Faggot maybe?" Veronica stumbled back, feeling as if she had been slapped. The word pinged around in her brain and fractured her skull at the force of it. Her lungs contracted and her eyes burned as she tried to steady her hands. Her heart suddenly felt like a humming bird's wings as she stumbled over to the dock. Duke and Mac were now watching with confused expressions. 

"Uhm, Duke?" She asked, wincing at how shaky her voice was. 

"Is everything alright, Sawyer? You look like you've seen a ghost," she said, getting out of the water.

"Y-yeah I just need to head home. My mom needs help with something," she explained, her voice sounding faint and scratchy in her ears. 

Duke studied her for a moment, something akin to worry shining in her dark eyes. Finally she nodded, "Yeah, of course. Just let me grab my stuff." Veronica nodded and walked off, refusing to look back at Chandler. Her fingers were quivering as they grabbed her clothes. A grimace contorted her face as she smelled cherries and vanilla. 

"Veronica, where are you going?" Heather Chandler's voice poked against her skin like a needles.

"Home, I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm leaving," she replied, zipping up her jean shorts. 

"Stop being a pussy, Ronnie. Just get back in the water," Heather said, reaching to grab the brunette's wrist.

Fight of flight kicked in and Veronica stumbled back away from the girl's deadly velvet hands, "Oh, I thought I was a dyke, Heather. Or maybe a faggot? You really need to pick an insult and stick with it," Veronica spat, the tremor in her voice gone.

"Oh my _God,_ you're being such a snowflake. It isn't like you're actually interested in dating girls," she snapped. "I've heard of this shit before, and it always turns out to be a phase."

"The only temporary thing here is this friendship, Heather. I cannot believe I actually let you back into my life. You're such a conceited cunt," she hissed. 

"Hate to break to you, but you're stuck with me," Chandler sniped, "Unless you want people to find out what really happened to Jason." 

"Don't."

"Or maybe I should tell them that you were just using dear old Dean to hide your lesbianism. Maybe he was a faggot too," she growled stepping towards Veronica so that they were an inch apart. 

Veronica's eyes welled with tears as she stepped away, "You really are a bitch, you know that?" she said, her voice almost a whisper. 

Duke and Mac were standing behind them, eyes wide and confused at the interaction. The brunette was clutching her keys in her hand and her towel bag in the other. Veronica walked towards her, hating how her knees quaked with the effort.

"Let's go, Heather," she whispered. Duke nodded silently before glancing over at Chandler. A look of contempt entered her face as she inspected the blonde before she walked off silently towards the path, Veronica trailing her silently. She stared down at the stray roots and branches that littered the gravel path. Her hands were clenched in her shallow pockets as if she needed to physically restrain herself from punching the nearest tree. Perhaps she did. 

"I suppose you heard our conversation?" she asked quietly, glancing up at the shorter brunette. 

"Me and everyone else within a 50 mile radius," Heather replied, adjusting the strap on her shoulder. 

"Oh, uh then I guess you probably agree with Heather."

Duke chuckled and glanced back at Veronica, "No, what Heather said was way out of line. Though, I cannot say I'm surprised." 

"Really? I thought you would agree with her. None of you are exactly waving around rainbow flags," she replied. 

"Just because our leader thinks something, doesn't mean we have to agree. We aren't a hive mind, Sawyer." 

"Oh, right. Sorry." 

Duke shrugged and stepped over a fallen log, "I'm actually bisexual as well," she admitted.

Veronica's eyes widened in surprise as she stumbled over the log, "Really?"

"Yeah, I've known for a while now. I just didn't mention it because I know how Chandler is," Duke explained.

"And Mac?" she asked as they stepped out into the abandoned parking lot. 

Heather pondered the question for a minute while she unlocked the doors to her jeep. Eventually she shrugged, "Not my story to tell," she settled on before slipping into the car. "And listen, what Heather said was shitty. However, I know she cares about you."

Veronica snorted, "Yeah right." 

"I'm serious, the way she acts around you is the most genuine I've seen her in years," she explained, "Despite the façade she puts on, she isn't much of a people person. When it comes to flirting and charming, she's a goddess but... emotions are a different story." 

"Why are you telling me this?" Veronica asked, glancing over at Duke. 

"Because I want you to stay for the rest of the day."

"Heather..."

"I know she's acting like a bitch, but take it from someone who is on the end of a lot of her insults, she rarely means the things she says," Duke insisted. "We're going to have a bonfire later, Mac brought a picnic basket her cook prepared the day before."

Veronica bit her lip and stared down at her lap, part of her wanted nothing more than to go home and avoid Chandler for the rest of the weekend. However, she knew that Heather was right. Chandler had been nothing but kinda to her before, and though her actions were shitty, she knew that Heather would inevitably apologize. That didn't mean she couldn't be petty about it however, "Fine, but if she says something even a little out of line, I'm gone," Veronica warned. Duke grinned and led them back down the path. 

\--

"What the hell was that all about," Heather McNamara snapped, her glare cutting through Chandler.

"Veronica was just being a pillowcase, as always," Heather rolled her eyes.

"No, I heard what you said to her," Mac seethed, her voice uncharacteristically bold. "That was a shit move, Heather."

"Why, because I said the truth?"

"Do you even know what happened to her in middle school?" She snarled. 

"She didn't go to our school in middle school," Heather replied. Veronica had been homeschooled in eighth grade, she recalled. 

"Yeah there's a reason for that, Heather," Mac hissed.

"Stop beating around the bush and tell me what happened," Chandler snapped, her chest tightening with dread. The way Veronica had looked at her was already eating at her from the inside out. She had looked at Heather as if she were a monster preparing to eat her whole. Her honey brown doe eyes had glistened with barely restrained tears and her body had been quaking like a leaf. What the hell has she done? 

"Remember Regina George, from elementary school?" Mac asked, sitting down on the dock. 

"Yeah, the blonde chick who always wore pink," Heather snorted, Regina had constantly started fights with her just to prove she was more popular. She was wrong, obviously, bit it was still annoying. 

"Yeah, she and Veronica were best friends for the longest time. But, Veronica must have told Regina she was bi or something because a week before Regina's birthday she started telling the whole school Veronica was a space dyke who was madly in love with her," Mac explained.

"Shit, how did Veronica react?" Heather asked, running a hand through her hair. 

"She started hanging out with the art freaks, that's where she met Betty Finn," McNamara said, "Then a year later when the bullying didn't stop she homeschooled the entirety of eighth grade."

"Fuck, I had no idea," Chandler said, scrubbing at her face. She knew Veronica went through something in middle school, but she didn't know it was that bad. "I fucked up, Mac," she groaned.

"Yeah, big time. Though you still shouldn't say that stuff, regardless of her history with those terms," McNamara advised.

"What do I do? She'll never talk to me again."

"Just be nice."

Heather cocked an eyebrow and shot her a strange look, "Nice?"

"Yeah you know like be polite and don't constantly insult her. Try to understand her feelings," she suggested, offering the taller girl a gentle smile. 

Heather grimaced and scooted away from the blonde, as if she found could physically distance herself from the idea. "That sounds like pillowcase bullshit, Heather."

"See, this is your problem. You never work to understand other people and that's how you end up calling your best friend a dyke."

Chandler opened her mouth to argue but found that she couldn't. McNamara was right, even if she would rather jump fully clothed into the pond than admit it. Finally she sighed and nodded, "Alright I'll try." 


	6. Listen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never seen any of the movies they discuss in this chapter, but please tell me who you agree with.

Veronica Sawyer huffed nervously as they approached the pond. Her chest suddenly felt too small and flimsy to contain her heartbeat, like aged rubber put under too much strain. Not only that but, the bones in her legs must have been replaced by pool noodles because she felt as if her knees were going to buckle at any moment. The only thing keeping her noodle-y legs moving was Duke's occasional impatient glare, silently telling her to hurry up. Veronica wanted to walk slower just to spite the girl however, she didn't want to approach Heather alone, not after what she said.

The moment those terms had left Chandler's mouth she had been transported back to middle school. The familiar full body flush of humiliation that she feels every time a girl shift's away from her in the locker room, or when she gets DMs from straight couples asking her for a threesome. She wouldn't have cared so much if they didn't take her mind back to Regina George every time. Regina had been one of her best friends at the time and also one of the most popular girls in school. That being said, when Veronica figured out she had a crush on her, she had a hard time hiding it. When Regina figured out she had been pissed and horrified that her best friend was a lesbian and told the entire school. Veronica remembered the crushing feeling of shame and loneliness as she sat alone in the library everyday at lunch - that is until Kurt and Ram showed up to tease her. The bullying was so bad at the time she had been set up with a counselor and prescribed anxiety medication. Now here she was repeating the same thing with a girl who was almost the carbon copy of Regina George. Veronica wanted to slap herself across the face for having such terrible taste in women. 

Regardless of the anxiety that had settled in her stomach like a chunk of ice, she continued up the hill that lead to the pond. Once they walked through the small clump of bushes, Veronica could see Mac and Chandler sitting on the dock. McNamara was doing most of the talking, her face uncharacteristically grim. Her hand was resting on the taller teen's shoulder and her brows were furrowed sternly, though not unkindly. Heather herself was sitting slightly hunched, her hands resting in her lap in fists. The line of her mouth was tight dipped into a frown and if Veronica didn't know better she would say Heather Chandler looked _anxious._ The idea didn't sit right with the brunette, the blonde was never nervous, not even in the worst of times. She could have two drunk college guys backing her into a corner at a party and still maintain her cool façade perfectly. Yet, as Mac lectured her she looked smaller and almost human. It was the second time Veronica had made this realization and it still seemed like a bizarre concept.

Infuriatingly her first emotion when seeing this was not satisfaction or relief instead, it was pity. She wanted nothing more than to hug and kiss the worried lines creasing Heather's perfect brow. To race over to her and tell her that she was forgiven. The urge to slap herself returned full force at the thoughts. Figures, Veronica could be the victim and Heather would still bend and slither her way back into the brunette's good side. _No_ , she is mad at Chandler what she said wasn't going to be easily forgiven. Veronica crossed her arms in hopes of protecting her pounding chest from the dangerous blonde they were now approaching. 

McNamara looked up in surprise and sat up slightly, her hand leaving Chandler's shoulder, "Oh, Veronica I thought you were going to go home?" she questioned, standing. 

Veronica shrugged and kicked a rock into the pond, "I have nothing else to do today so I figured I might as well save Duke the gas money." It was the weakest excuse she could have come up with, still no one commented on it. 

"Well we're glad you're here," Mac said with a grin. After a beat of silence she glowered and elbowed Heather, " _Aren't we,_ Heather _."_

Heather Chandler nodded, "Yeah, obviously," she said noncommittally. Veronica frowned at her tone but didn't comment, instead she turned to face Duke, who was now sitting next to a patch of cattails. After a while Veronica settled down next to Mac on the dock. As they talked and exchanged the occasional splash she focused all her energy on not meeting Chandler's eyes. From time to time she could see the blonde looking at her from the corner of her eye. Veronica chose to ignore her gaze and instead focus on what Duke was saying. 

"What do you mean _The Wizard of Oz_ is the best is the best classic movie?" The brunette scoffed, picking a cattail from its stem absently.

McNamara frowned, "What as if that's up for debate, it had tons of iconic characters!" She insisted, leaning forward on the dock. 

"Name one character worth while in that movie," Duke shot back, picking at the plant in her hands. 

"The Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, the Wicked Witch of the West. Just to name a few." 

"Psh, please the only character worth while in that movie is the Witch. _E.T._ is superior by far," Heather Duke insisted, kicking water at Mac playfully. 

McNamara gasped and put a hand over her chest dramatically, "Veronica, Heather what do you two think?" she questioned, glancing at the two.

Veronica grinned, "You're both wrong the best classic movie is a tie, it's the _Star Wars_ prequels." Duke and Mac booed, kicking splashing water at her. She giggled and flicked water back at them, scooting away from the onslaught that was leaving her jeans soaked. 

"God you have worse taste than Mac." Make stuck her tongue out at the brunette. "Chandler, please tell these two fiends I'm right," Duke said, looking at Heather who was watching with a small smile on her face.

"I'm afraid you're a fiend as well, Duke, because you're all wrong. The best classic movie is _Pulp Fiction_."

"Ugh, I hate to admit it but I agree with Chandler," Veronica piped up. " _Star Wars_ is still superior but she's the most tolerable out of you lot." Mac shoved her in response, causing Veronica to shoulder her lightly in retaliation. 

Heather laughed, her face beaming, "See, Ronnie has taste. Though I will _never_ watch any of those stupid nerd movies with you."

Veronica smiled and winked, "We'll see."

The blonde scoffed and stood from her seat on the rickety platform, "Come on losers, I'm starving." Mac skipped off after her, grabbing the picnic basket. Veronica followed close behind, her shoulders were looser than they had been since their argument. Heather's friendliness relaxed her, giving her hope that maybe she was willing to listen to her next time the conversation came up. Regardless of her willingness to listen, Veronica sat herself next to Mac once more. Just in case. 

Their dinner consisted of watermelon, bell peppers, sandwiches, and Dr. Pepper. It was simple, but refreshing after the strenuous day. Their interactions were pleasant, laced with lighthearted arguments and mockery. Mac asked whether whether or not Big Foot was in the woods behind them, causing Duke and Veronica to debate about whether the large ape exists. The two bickered debating the evolutionary possibilities and the reliability of the sightings and videos. 

Chandler groaned and placed her head in her hands, "Dear Lord, I'm stuck with a bunch of dorks," she bemoaned.

Duke huffed, "The only dork here is Veronica. I'm simply explaining that if Big Foot were to exist he would be dead by now." 

Veronica banged her fist against the log she was sitting on, "There can be more than one, Heather!" She argued. 

"Mac go get the fire starters before they start this bullshit back up," Heather Chandler ordered. McNamara giggled and walked over to the picnic basket she pulled them out along with a lighter.

"Veronica I need you to start the fire," she said, tossing the items to the brunette.

"Why me?" Veronica griped.

"Because I assume you're the only one who actually knows how," Duke said, scrolling through her phone. 

"Why do you assume that?"

"Because you're the butch-iest out of all of us," she replied, raising and eyebrow, "Are we wrong?"

Veronica sighed and stood, "Yeah I do know how, my dad taught me," she admitted. "Where are the logs?"

Mac froze and her eyes widened, "I forgot to buy some from 7/11." 

"I'll go out and collect some sticks and stuff," Veronica grumbled, grabbing the wicker basket.

Heather Chandler stood up quickly, "I'll help."

Veronica frowned, "You don't have to, I'll be fine."

"It's fine, I want to help," she insisted. 

"Alright, I suppose you can come along. Turn on your phone's flashlight when we get into the woods." Heather nodded and pulled out her phone. The two walked back past the pond which now had streaks of pink and orange swirled on the surface of the water. Once they reached the path Veronica stepped off the bump gravel and into the overgrown foliage, Chandler close behind. The two walked farther away from the path, Heather providing the light for them to navigate with. Along the way the brunette grabbed dead leaves and relatively dry sticks from the ground. 

The woods were completely silent up until Heather Chandler cleared her throat, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

Veronica stopped in surprise and turned around to face her, "What?"

"I'm sorry, I was out of line I was raised around people who said those kind of things so I guess I just assumed it was okay," Heather continued, shrugging as she looked down at the ground.

"Oh well thank you for the apology," she accepted, still stunned. Heather Chandler was a lot of things gorgeous, witty, a little bit of a bitch, regretful was not one of those things. She didn't apologize for anything, even if she was clearly in the wrong. Veronica could count on one hand the times she had heard the words 'sorry' exit her lips. The fact that she was apologizing so soon after the incident was even more jarring to the brunette.

"I do have a question though," she added, handing a stick over to Veronica.

"Yes?"

"How did you know?"

She considered the question for a moment, "I've known for a while to be honest. Ever since I was eleven I would see these women on TV an be completely enraptured. Every time I would see a pretty woman walking down the street my pulse would quicken and I found myself thinking of her throughout the day," she explained, shutting the lid of the picnic basket. "It was also instinctual, I just knew that I liked women sort of like how you know that you don't." 

Heather opened her mouth to reply when a she felt a drop of water land on her nose. Veronica, having felt water too, stopped walking. They looked up to see that storm clouds had gathered, blocking out the moon and stars. More rain droplets fell down, splashing against their clothes and skin. The rain started to pick up, soaking the ground.

"Fuck," Chandler yelled as she shivered, the temperature had dropped along with the rain and wind. 

"Come on, we'll meet Heather and Heather at the Jeep," Veronica urged.

"I'll get soaked!" Veronica rolled her eyes and took off her leather jacket before draping over Heather's head, leaving her in a thin lace halter top and shorts. Chandler lifted the jacket over her head and started jogging towards the path. Veronica's curls started sticking to her cheeks and neck, and the canvas of her sneakers was soaked through causing the soles to squish. She ignored this however, and focused on running through the path towards the Jeep. The two arrived at the green car to find McNamara and Duke sitting inside relatively dry. Heather Chandler let out a sigh of relief as she slipped into the car. Veronica was about to climb in when Duke rolled down her window.

"No way, you are _not_ getting in my car like that. There are towels in the trunk, line the floor and seat with them," she ordered.

Veronica grumbled and walked around the Jeep. She popped the trunk open, revealing four towels neatly folded in the corner. After layering them onto the her side of the car, the brunette carefully slid inside. Her hair was soaked and water was dripping down her nose and cheeks causing her teeth to chatter. 

"Weren't you wearing a coat?" Mac questioned, glancing back at the brunette.

"Yes, but I gave it Chandler," she explained.

"Yeah, Ronnie is a true gentlewoman," Heather said, smiling over at her. Veronica knew she was kidding, however, the didn't stop a blush from rising to her cheeks. Heather McNamara glanced at the two, and gave Veronica a strange look followed by a smile that was all too smug for her liking. The brunette felt dread coiling in her gut, did Mac know about her feelings toward Chandler? She pushed the thought out of her mind, no that wasn't possible, Mac couldn't possibly know. She folded her arms over her chest in attempts to stop shivering. She was about to request that Duke turn up the heat when a familiar flash of blue appeared beside her.

"Well, that day could have gone better," JD said with a smug grin.

Veronica groaned.


	7. Kindred Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather finally admits to having human emotions then proceeds to make fun of Veronica for owning a teddy bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW Katherine Johnson was an African-American woman who worked as a mathematician for NASA and was vital in the Apollo 13 space mission, just incase you didn't know. (Correct me if any of that is wrong.)

Veronica glared over at JD, subtly flipping him off. What the hell was he doing in here around so many people? She would punch him if she could. The boy lounged back, kicking his feet up on the middle console. His tuxedo was still unwrinkled and pristine despite the drain cleaner dripping down his chin. Veronica felt sick at the sight of the glowing blue liquid so she looked away.

"What? It's the truth. I told you Heather was a shit person, this only proves it," he said smugly. Veronica scowled and looked down at her lap. JD sighed and softened his tone, "Darling, c'mon don't be like that," his translucent hand hovered under her chin in order to coax her into looking at him. The brunette caved and gazed up at him with a bitter expression. "It's my job to look after you and I don't like how they treat you." Veronica huffed quietly and shrugged ever so slightly. Jason chuckled lowly and wrapped his arms around both Chandler and his ex-girlfriend. The brunette shot him a warning look but stayed quiet. "Oh I think I like this, you can't argue with me if you can't talk. Maybe I should appear around the Heathers all the time."

"Veronica, did you go brain dead? I mean I know I'm pretty but you don't need to stare," Heather said smugly. She realized while she was looking at JD, it looked like she was staring at Chandler. 

She blushed and stammered, "Uh, no sorry just daydreaming," she explained. 

"Are you sure," she purred. "It's okay to stare I understand." Heather leaned over, effectively putting her hand between Jason's legs. The ghost scowled and sunk lower in the chair to avoid her. 

Veronica forced a chuckle, her hands turning clammy. "I'm sure - not that your aren't pretty! I was just thinking, I swear. I mean I don't think I've ever stared at a girl without her knowing, I'm not a pervert," she rambled, cheeks darkening as she continued.

Heather raised and eyebrow and let out a laugh, "Relax, Ronnie, I'm fucking with you. Jesus, you act as if I'm going to bite your head off at any moment."

"Knowing you I wouldn't doubt it," she quipped. 

Heather shrugged, "Touché." McNamara turned and shot Veronica another look, something gleaming in her eyes. Veronica returned it with a curious expression of her own. 

JD leaned over, "She totally knows," he muttered. The girl jumped in surprise and looked at him. He rolled his eyes, "Oh please, I'm haunting you. You think I don't know that you want to bone Heather?" It was Veronica's turn to roll her eyes and turn away from him. The rest of the car ride was filled with Jason pestering her and Veronica swallowing her snarky remarks. Finally, they arrived at Chandler's house and Jason took that as his cue to leave. She let out a sigh of relief as the ghost disappeared. You would think she would be happy to see her dead boyfriend, however, lately he had been more of a pain in the ass than anything. 

"So what are we doing?" Veronica asked as they trekked up the stairs.

"We aren't doing anything until you take a shower," Chandler replied, "You look like shit."

Veronica scowled, "A thank you would have been nice."

"It would be wouldn't it?" she replied sarcastically. 

Veronica flipped her off playfully, "Hey, can you drive me home real quick? If I'm sleeping over all weekend I need clothes." 

Heather sighed dramatically and grabbed her keys, they had a little red high heel keychain attached to the ring. Veronica found herself finding the little detail unreasonably endearing for some reason. "Let's go nerd," she ordered. Veronica chuckled and followed her down the stairs. The two sat in comfortable silence until Chandler cleared her throat, "I do appreciate what you did for me in the forest, just so you know. It was kind of you considering how I treated you earlier," she admitted quietly.

Veronica smiled slightly and looked over at the girl, who's cheeks were tinted pink. "No problem, Red." She could have sworn she saw Heather smile at the nickname. The rest of the car ride was filled with soft music and a pleasant warmth. When they arrived at Veronica's house, Heather didn't bother waiting for her and proceeded to stride through the front door. 

Veronica rolled her eyes and shut the door, "Sure come right in, Heather," she muttered sarcastically. Chandler flashed her a smirk before heading up the stairs to her room. The brunette followed and stepped into her messy room with a cringe. Clothes, books, and paintings were strewn about. Not to mention the numerous stuffed animals on her unmade bed. 

Heather picked up one of the paintings, a deer with mushrooms and vines sprouting from it's back and hummed, "Shit Sawyer, I didn't know you were artistic," she said. 

Veronica blushed and rubbed the back of her neck, "Oh uh, it's just a small hobby I do when I'm bored or upset," she explained. "It's nothing special."

Chandler huffed and picked up another painting, the portrait of the girl with smoke coming out of her mouth and eyes. "I'll take it you were upset when you did this one?" she asked.

She winced, "I did that one right after the incident.." she explained.

"How are you by the way?" she asked cautiously.

Veronica grimaced and shrugged, "I don't know to be honest. Tired probably."

Heather sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed, "Yeah, I can understand that."

"Do you see him in your dreams too?" she asked.

Chandler looked up hesitantly, a sad look in her eyes, "Yes, sometimes I do," she admitted quietly. 

Veronica stroked the cuts on her knees, the image of JD colliding with the coffee table replaying in her head like a gif, "I know it isn't my fault that he's dead but... I still feel bad, like I could have avoided it."

Heather pulled her down gently so that she was sitting next to her, "Hey, you couldn't have known he was going to do something that stupid. You aren't a mindreader." The blonde wrapped a lithe arm around her shoulders, she hated herself for leaning into the touch. 

"Still... If I had just poured out the mug or made him pour out the mug-"

Chandler leaned in and kissed her cheek, effectively silencing her, "None of that, it was no one's fault don't put this all on yourself," she said firmly, grasping Veronica's chin. 

Veronica felt her chin wobble as her eyes met Heather's own, and it took everything in her to keep from crying. 

"How... How do you stay so strong?" she whispered, soaking in her friend's warmth. 

Chandler chuckled and leaned her head on top of Veronica's own, "I'm not strong, I just don't let people know when I feel weak." The brunette furrowed her brows and looked up at Heather, she was gazing at the floor with an all too familiar look in her eyes. Loneliness. Loneliness from bearing a burden no one else could possibly understand because, if you tried to explain they would only shun you.

Veronica wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist and rested her chin on her shoulder. "You don't have to be strong for me." She pretended to not feel the tears that dripped onto her arm. They sat there for what felt like an eternity, their kindred souls flickering in their chests side by side. 

Finally, Veronica stood and stretched, "I should shower," she said.

Heather jumped, "Oh yeah, do that," she said with a tinge of embarrassment in her voice. The lanky girl opened her drawer and grabbed the first shirt and pants she saw then made her way to the bathroom. She kept the shower relatively quick while still thoroughly scrubbing her skin and hair. The hot water streamed down her body as she stared at the tiled wall. Heather had kissed her cheek willingly, without alcohol involved. The spot still burned as she reached up to touch it. 

\--

In order to take her mind off the mortifying thing she had just admitted, Heather Chandler began to snoop around Veronica's room. It was hard considering that her room looked like a bomb had hit it but, she managed. A stack of small canvases lay on the writing desk, she picked them up. There were paintings of birds, fish, and naked women in different poses. Heather paused and looked at the nudes. Were they based on Veronica's own body? The thought made her flush slightly so she quickly set down the paintings and continued on. Unlike a normal person, Veronica didn't own a bookshelf; her books were laid out in stacks next to her closet, practically blocking the door. They were mostly made up of books written three hundred years ago that were so long it made Heather bored just looking at them. 

"God, she's such a nerd," she muttered, setting a book on the theory of wormholes and black holes down. Moving on to the bed, she saw a lump under the blankets. Curiously, she lifted it to find a teddy bear with a heart stomach laying on it's side. A large smirk grew on her face as she picked up the well loved plushie. Veronica fucking Sawyer, known nerd and hipster, owned a fucking teddy bear. For some reason, it was almost endearing. The brunette never failed to surprise her with how big of a dork she was. Heather smiled softly and stroked a hand over the tattered fur, what a loser. 

Beside the bear was a bunched up piece of cloth. Heather picked up and watched as an all too familiar trench coat unfurled. She sighed and gently set the coat down, of course Veronica still had it. She used to hate it because it was ugly, now she resented it for a completely different reason. It radiated an overwhelming sense of despair that harshly reminded Heather that she had watched someone die in her own home. She may have hated him but Jesus fucking Christ, he didn't deserve to die. She shook her head and picked the teddy bear back up when she heard Veronica enter the room.

She turned, a smirk replacing the frown that had just been there, "So Ronnie, who is this?" she asked smugly. 

Veronica's eyes widened as she opened and closed her mouth like a fish. She hurried towards Heather to try and grab it, stammering out explanations. Heather laughed and leaped away from her, hugging the bear to her chest to keep it away from the girl. She went to back away from her friend when her foot caught on a pile of shirts and she lost her foots. Veronica, who had been grabbing her arm, went down with her. Heather let out an _oomph_ as she landed on the floor back first, the bear still clutched against her. She opened her eyes and let out a small gasp, Veronica was hovering just a few inches from her face. Her face was flawless up close and took everything Heather had not to close the gap between them. Wait what? Where did that impulse come from?

Before she could dwell on the implications Veronica stumbled to her feet, "I'm so sorry are you okay?" she asked, extending her hand. 

Heather huffed and grabbed the girls hand, allowing her to hoist her to her feet. "Yes, and fortunately for you this little guy," she handed the bear to her friend who took it eagerly, "is too." 

Veronica hugged the stuffed animal, Heather smirked when she saw the embarrassed tinge in her cheeks. Her doe eyes shown in a way that made her look like a scolded puppy and _dear Lord_ , she wanted to kiss her. Heather scolded herself once again, Veronica was her friend, not to mention she was straight. 

"Why do you have him anyway?" she asked. 

Veronica smiled sheepishly and set the bear on her bed, "When I was nine I broke my leg and had to go to the hospital. I was super upset about not being able to play soccer that year so my dad bought me Ricardo," she explained.

Heathers smirk grew into a smug grin, "Ricardo?"

Veronica gaped, her eyes widening in mortification, "I didn't mean to mention that. Please forget I said that," she pleaded. 

"Nope, Ricardo is now forever cemented in my mind it's too late."

"Please don't tell the others."

Heather tapped her chin in mock consideration, "I could be persuaded." 

"How?"

"Clean your fucking room. It looks like an episode of Hoarders."

"Yes, Ma'am," Veronica saluted before picking up a pile of dirty clothes. 

\--

It took about twenty minutes with Heather providing absolutely zero assistance except for a few snide comments, however, Veronica's room was finally clean. She had packed a bag whilst pointedly ignoring Chandler's request to bring Ricardo along. Since the majority of her outfits were dirty she stuck to old band t-shirts and sweatpants. Once they were ready to go Veronica glanced back at the trench coat folded neatly at the foot of her bed. She hesitated for a moment before grabbing it and putting it on. Heather made no comment despite her obvious disdain for the jacket, much to her appreciation. The two walked to the car in silence, Veronica taking in the familiar scent of the trench coat. 

Once the car had pulled out of the driveway Heather glanced over at Veronica with a smirk, "So, does Ricardo have any friends?"

The brunette groaned and rested her head on the dashboard, "You're never going to let that go are you?"

"You didn't answer the question." 

"Marilyn Monroe the cat, Frida Kahlo the bird, and Katherine Johnson the dolphin," she listed quietly. 

Heather threw back her head and let out a loud laugh, "Holy shit! You are such a fucking dork!" Veronica felt herself blush for the thousandth time that day and sunk lower in her chair. 

"Yeah, it's lame I know," she laughed, embarrassment lacing her voice.

"Don't worry, it's cute," Heather assured, an uncharacteristically soft smile on her face. Veronica's chest swelled as the blonde rested a hand on her own. It stayed there for the rest of the ride. Once they arrived back at Chandler's house they found Mac and Duke curled up together on her king size bed. McNamara's head was nestled under her companions chin and her eyes were half open as they watched _Aristocats_. Mac's suggestion most likely. 

Heather Duke sat up, "Finally you're back, we wanted to talk to you about something," she said, pausing the movie. 

"About what?" Veronica asked, setting down her duffel bag. 

The two glanced at each other nervously when Mac blurted, "What did Chandler mean when she said 'what actually happened to Jason'?" 

Veronica froze mid step and her head whirled to look at them. "Wh-What do you mean?" she stuttered, clenching her clammy hands. 

"Well... it was a weird statement," Duke added. 

She looked over at Heather who looked like a deer caught in headlights. They met eyes and had a silent conversation before Veronica took a deep breath and stepped forward, "You're going to have to sit down for this," she advised. After they were all seated Veronica began retelling what had happened that morning. After a while her voice turned shaky and Heather had to take over. The brunette gave her a shaky smile and closed her eyes. The morning played out before her like a horror movie from her panic attack, to carrying JD's corpse to Heather's car. The memory of his still-warm body beneath her hands made her stomach roll. When Heather concluded the story, the four sat in silence for a long moment. 

"Holy shit..." Duke breathed, her eyes wide. 

"Fuck," Mac agreed, clutching the hem of her skirt. "Are you two okay...?" her baby blue eyes shining with worry.

Veronica shrugged, her eyes glued to her lap, "I'm getting there."

Everyone looked at Heather who was oddly silent. When she noticed everyone's eyes were on her she frowned, "I'm perfectly fine. It isn't like he was my boyfriend," she said halfheartedly. Mac and Duke looked as if they didn't believe her, however, they didn't push it. Instead, they opened the Netflix menu once more and started bickering over movie selections. Veronica looked over at Heather, who was gazing absently at the wall with dull eyes. The brunette placed a gentle hand on her knee and offered her an understanding smile. The hand stayed there for the rest of the night. 


	8. Tutoring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica tutors Heather and things don't go as planned in the best way possible.

School was worse than she had imagined. The moment she walked through the door people gawked at her and whispered like she was some circus freak. They nervously moved out of her way as if her boyfriend dying had made her an unhinged animal. People offered her sympathetic looks or uneasy glances, however, none had the balls to actually approach her. In fact, on the off chance she did meet their eyes the student would quickly look away, embarrassed at being caught. So, she rolled her eyes, popped the collar of JD's trench coat, and walked to class. The teachers weren't much better. Her AP calculus teacher Mr. Linus, went as far as hugging her in front of the entire class, much to her chagrin.

She was in the middle of her third period, World History, when her phone buzzed in her pocket. With a quick glance to make sure no one was looking, Veronica pulled the phone from her pocket. 

**The Royal Bitches**

**10:17 AM**

**Queen Bee- english is soooo boring today richards has been babbling on about the historical context of the scarlet letter 4 like 6 hrs**

**Bluebird- Maybe if you actually cared enough to read the book it would be less boring, Heather.**

**Queen Bee- doubtful**

**Duchess- It's actually a pretty interesting book, Heather. I read it in 8th grade.**

**Queen Bee- like 4 fun??? who does that???** ****

**Lemony Maccets- I agree with Chan the book is too difficult to read (╥﹏╥)**

**Duchess- I offered to tutor you, Mac.**

**Lemony Maccets- Really? (っ◕‿◕)っ ♥**

**Duchess- Of course, meet me in the library after school.**

**Bluebird- I can tutor you too, Chandler.**

**Queen Bee- abso fucking lutely not ronnie. id rather eat my own eyeball than get a tutor.**

**Bluebird- Come on, I can help you with your homework so that you don't have to copy mine last minute.**

**Queen Bee- i do that because i like seeing u panic not because i need to.**

**Bluebird- Thanks.**

**Queen Bee- 😘**

**Duchess- Anyways, does anyone want to skip?**

**Bluebird- We can't I stayed home an entire week and you guys skipped Friday.**

**Duchess- So?**

**Bluebird- So, I have a shitload of makeup tests to do.**

**Queen Bee- i cant either i have a test in history.** ****

**Duchess- Since when do you care about tests, Heather? Is all this time with Veronica's geeky ass wearing off on you?**

**Bluebird- Fuck off, hypocrite.**

**Queen Bee- no but i have a D in history & my dad threatened to take away my porsche if it drops any lower. **

**Bluebird- I'm serious about tutoring, Heather. I think it could really help you.**

**Queen Bee- ...fine but if i get my porsche taken away im cheating off u 4 the rest of the yr.**

**Lemony Maccets- I'll skip with you Duke! :)**

**Duchess- Finally, someone who isn't a stick in the mud, meet me in the parking lot after class.**

Veronica jerked her head up as the bell rang. She glanced up at the board only to find the notes she forgot to write down being erased. Wincing, she stood and shoved her empty notebook into her bag before stalking out the door. Getting to her next class was relatively easy, people were still parting for her like the Red Sea. However, as she approached the door, she heard a familiar voice.

"Veronica!" Martha cried, walking quickly up to her.

The brunette smiled down at the brunette and accepted the tight hug she was wrapped into. "Hey, Martha. How are you?"

Martha grinned and adjusted her glasses, "I'm okay, I just wanted to check on you, it's been a week since anyone has seen you."

Veronica sighed, "I'm okay, I suppose. It's just been a little rough." 

"I bet, I sat with JD during lunch a couple of times. He seemed like a really nice guy."

"He was. I'm glad you got to meet him," she replied, her smile turning watery. 

Martha's face turned remorseful as she pulled Veronica in for a hug. The brunette swallowed the tears gathering in her eyes as the familiar warmth wrapped around her. She almost forgot how much she missed the chubby girl's hugs. Wrapping her arms around her old friend, Veronica allowed the scent of bubblegum and peaches fill her nose. 

Pulling away, Veronica squeezed her shoulder, "I'm so sorry for how I have treated you, Martha. We can hang out on Friday, how does that sound?" she offered, an olive branch.

Martha beamed, accepting the peace offering, "I would love that, your house and a movie?" Veronica nodded and gave her friend one last hug before walking into her next class feeling twenty pounds lighter. The rest of class rushed by in a flurry of subtle texting and trying to focus on the lesson over the conversations taking place on her phone. Finally, class ended and Veronica headed down to the cafeteria. Heather Chandler was sitting at their usual table, furiously texting on her phone. Veronica winced at her expression and sat down in her usual seat.

"What's wrong?" she asked by way of greeting.

Heather huffed and slammed her phone down, "I can't believe those idiots just up and left us," she seethed.

Veronica shrugged, "It isn't a big deal, they'll be back tomorrow."

"They can't just skip without us, we've lost like half our table," she complained.

"You have still got me don't you?"

Heather furrowed her brows for a moment before crossing her arms, "I suppose."

Veronica grinned, "So, do you want to start tutoring after school?"

"You were serious about that?" Chandler groaned.

"Of course, I don't want you to fail history, Heather. Can I ask you something though?"

"Oh please do."

Veronica ignored the sarcasm and continued, "You're in almost all AP classes, and from what I've seen you have been for most of high school."

"So?"

"So, I don't understand why you pretend to be bad at school. You're obviously pretty smart and you could easily get A's if you applied yourself more."

"And what would that do for me? I can just pay my way into a good college hell, I can pay my way into a good career. Plus, no guy wants to fuck a girl with opinions and a brain," she said so casually Veronica felt her heart fracture. 

"I know you're a good person, Heather. You don't need to pretend to be a bimbo just to get a subpar guy. You deserve better than that," she said.

Heather scoffed, her voice shakier than before, "You have always been so naive, Veronica. It's almost sweet."

"I'm serious, Heather."

Heather purses her lips, "I'll pick you up after school, if you're late I'm ditching you." 

As promised, Heather picked Veronica up and drove them to her house. Once they got up to Heather's room Veronica pulled out her textbooks and notes and set them on the bed. Heather huffed but pulled her supplies out as well before flopping onto the bed. "So, Pangea." 

Veronica brightened and pulled opened her notebook. "Right, so basically the theory is the world used to be one big super continent. That's how the Neanderthals got from Africa to Asia." She carried on, explaining the spreading of humanity and the breaking apart of the continents. It wasn't until her noticed Heather smirking at her from her side of the bed did she stop, flushing red. "Sorry, I got carried away."

The blonde chuckled and sat up, "Don't worry about it, it was cute," she assured with a wink. "You're really into this aren't you?"

Veronica scratched the back of her neck, "Yeah, I read a few books about it in middle school when I went through my dinosaur phase."

"Alright, since you know so much about this, can you come here and check my practice test answers?" 

Veronica nodded and scooted closer so that their thighs were practically touching. She grabbed the packet from Chandler and flipped through it, skimming over the answers. "You're mostly right, except modern humans supposedly popped up 130,000 years ago not 200,000..." Veronica began before trailing off. Heather's face was inches from her own, she gulped and glanced down. Chandler's painted lips were the color of roses and hearts and cherries. She could feel her warm breath puffing against her own, as her quicksilver eyes never leaving Veronica's.

Then in a flurry, her lips were locked on Heather's own. _God,_ they were soft and perfect and tasted like Dr. Pepper and fruit. Her hands were rested on her Chandler's smooth freckled cheeks, her fingertips grazing the girl's hairline. Then, Heather was kissing back. Their lips moved furiously against each other as the blonde dug her manicured fingers into her curly hair. Veronica pulled her closer, nipping her bottom lip. Heather gasped, allowing Veronica entrance. Her tongue slipped into the blonde's mouth and she felt her heart explode. The brunette pulled away, breaking the kiss. Heather panted, smirking up at her with smeared lips. Veronica grinned and pushed the smug teen onto the bed before straddling her abdomen. 

She leaned down, slamming their lips together. Chandler gasped and wrapped an arm around her back until her hands were resting on her ass. Veronica groaned into the kiss before reaching down blindly to grasp at the hem of Heather's shirt. The blonde complied, using her free hand to pull the shirt off revealing an expanse of smooth freckled flesh and a red lacy bra. That quickly followed the shirt onto the floor. 

"Wow Sawyer, I didn't know you had it in you," Heather purred, groping Veronica's ass.

She groaned and rolled her hips into the blonde's abdomen, "You're prettier when you don't talk," she murmured, nibbling on Chandler's earlobe. The queen bee moaned and arched her back as Veronica kissed and sucked her way down the column of her neck. Veronica kissed her way to the valley of her companion's breasts, she laid one more kiss there before latching her mouth to the girl's perky nipple. Heather gasped and dug her nails into her back to which Veronica responded in by grinding down against her stomach. 

Her other hand came up to roll the girl's areola between her fingers. Heather let out a breathy moan before clawing at Veronica's shirt. She got the message quick enough and removed her shirt and sports bra, followed by her jeans and panties. Veronica yanked down the girl's plaid skirt along with her underwear before flinging them to the corner of the room. Her hand travelled south, tracing shapes and patterns onto the girl's stomach. Heather shivered pressed her lips to Veronica's throat. The brunette moaned, pressing her face into the top of the blonde's head. 

"Ah- you're really good at that," Veronica gasped, feeling a tongue drag down her neck and hands grope her ass.

"So I've been told," Chandler murmured, pulling her in for a kiss. Veronica ground herself in time with the kiss, feeling an ache building between her legs. She growled, pushing Heather down and pinned her manicured hands above her head. Traveling lower, Veronica planted wet kisses along Chandler's thighs. The girl above her moaned and rolled her hips in response. 

"Just fucking do it already!" Heather panted, burrowing her hands in Veronica's hair. 

"Pillow princess," she shot back, nipping the girl's inner thigh. 

"Shut ohh-" Chandler trailed off as Veronica dragged a finger along her slit. Her fingers traced her wet folds towards her clit. Heather let out a loud gasp and bucked her hips into the brunette's face. Veronica chuckled and plunged a finger inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't write smut that often sorry. >_<


	9. Slender Aphrodite has Overcome me with Longing for a Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go south for both Veronica and Heather.

Veronica's whole body was tingling. Heather was currently in the shower, she had left with a sultry wink and a promise to be out soon. The brunette had been too flustered at the time to reply. Now, she was laying under the covers, savoring the soft feeling of the silk sheets against her bare back. However, as she laid there staring at the ceiling, the thoughts in her head buzzed loudly. She had just had sex with the queen bee of Westerburg High, the same girl who had called her numerous homophobic slurs just a couple days ago-and she had loved it. Veronica felt borderline euphoric, her pent up infatuation with her best friend had finally been released into the open air. Whether that would prove to be a bad thing or not remained to be seen. For now, she would continue to savor the moment for what it was. 

A smile spread across her face as Heather emerged from the bathroom. Her wet hair cascaded down her back, dampening the silk kimono robe the just barely hid her thighs. Veronica blushed and reluctantly dragged her eyes away from the other girl's legs. When she reached Heather's face her stomach dropped. Chandler's face was as cold as the day they met in the bathrooms. She had a slight scowl on her face and her grey eyes narrowed. 

"You need to leave. Now," she said, her tone dangerously neutral.

Veronica sat up, "Did I do something wrong? If I did I'm sorry I'll-"

"It doesn't matter it's my house and when I tell you to leave, you leave," Heather snapped over her apology. "I can't be seen with you anymore. It's too risky."

Veronica's face contorted with anger and hurt, "You mean you can't be associated with the resident dyke?" 

"Just leave." 

The brunette furiously yanked on her clothing before stuffing her things into her backpack. She found herself blinking back tears as she stormed down the stairs. When Veronica finally exited the house she realized her only ride had just thrown her out of her house. With her teeth gritted and her hands clenched in fists, she stomped down the ridiculously long driveway and onto the main street. Her house was all the way on the other side of town, given the wide gap in wealth that became embarrassingly apparent the further she walked.

"Fuck rich people and their stupid ass mansions," Veronica muttered, kicking a pebble further up the sidewalk. This game continued until her old Converse lost their footing and she had to stop herself from face planting. This only egged on her anger as she proceeded to pick up her pace, furiously mumbling curses the whole way. How could Heather do this to her? They had been close, closer than Veronica had seen the blonde get with anyone. She had trusted Chandler, confided in her. Heather knew things about her that not even Martha knew and the idea that the girl was willing to drop her so abruptly felt like a hot cattle brand to the heart. Veronica blinked back tears and furiously scrubbed her face with clammy hands. 

It was quickly becoming darker the further she walked. The sky was now a dark shade of orange and crickets had started their nightly song. Veronica let out a shaky curse and fished her phone out of her pocket. The now too-bright screen flashed 7:30 pm causing the brunette to groan. Her frustration only grew when she saw a familiar spark of blue light beside her. 

"God, I thought I was an asshole," JD remarked, his lips curled in disgust. 

"Fuck off, JD. I'm not in the mood to be haunted," she grumbled, shoving her phone back into her pocket. 

"I find that that's when you need me the most," he replied with a wink. After receiving an icy glare Jason sobered, "This is why I tried to get you away from her, V. People like her only look out for themselves."

"I just thought that maybe she was different."

"You were one of the first people to give me a chance. My whole life I was met with nothing but hatred and contempt. Shit, my own Pops hated me. But, you," JD smiled tenderly at her, "you were different."

Veronica swallowed the lump in her throat and croaked, "What's your point."

"My point is, your ability to judge a book by its contents is one of your best qualities. However, you can't always afford to do that with people. Sometimes you need to judge the book by its cover for your own safety," he explained carefully. Veronica turned onto her street, the street lamps flickering to life. "Heather Chandler has proven time and time again that she doesn't deserve your friendship or your borderline adoration. Don't give me that look you were the one you had sex with her. You deserve better than to be treated as her personal hallway pass." 

Veronica's chin wobbled as she shrugged, "I guess... I just can't let myself believe she's a bad person."

"Why not? It's the truth isn't it?" JD snorted. 

"I don't think it is," she countered, "I mean, she's been mostly supportive of me since your death. Hell, she even confided in me once. I don't think she is a bad person, she just has walls higher than Mount Rushmore." 

"It still hurts you though."

Veronica felt the ache in her chest that had been building since leaving Heather's house and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." 

JD sighed and hovered a hand over her shoulder, "Just be careful, okay? Even if she isn't a bad person you can still get hurt." When she didn't respond Jason simply shook his head and disappeared. Once again Veronica was alone, on the porch of her empty house. After unlocking the door, Veronica trudged inside and to her room. Her parents were having a date night so she had the house to herself until midnight. She cranked her music up to full volume and dug her nose into a book of poetry. 

\--

Heather Chandler seethed as she slammed the door, her feet already pacing the floor. An annoying cocktail of emotions bubbled inside her stomach causing her anger to grow. How dare Veronica treat her so disrespectfully in her own home? She couldn't just come onto Heather just because she felt horny or whatever. Then again, Heather didn't exactly fight back or tell her to stop... she shook her head and slammed her textbook shut. Fuck Veronica with her stupid dorky charm and her weird ability to manipulate Chandler to her every whim. She was treacherous and she should have known better than to let her into the group again. It was best if Heather cut her off from the group completely, like a tumor or a dead flower. 

But, if that was best why did Heather find herself aching at the thought of it? Veronica was disgusting and manipulative and conniving , however, Heather found herself longing to run after her all the same. She itched to stroke those unruly curls, to have those lanky arms wrapped around her waist as they laid in bed all day. Heather snarled and shoved the train of thought from her head. Those daydreams had become increasingly common the more Chandler hung out with Veronica and it made her uneasy. Why was she so enamored with the nerd? If Veronica was anyone else she wouldn't give her a second glance, hell, she wouldn't have made it into the group in the first place. Now she had gone twenty steps further by fucking the nerd, and the worst thing about it was that Heather had enjoyed it. A lot. The memory of Veronica's stubby fingernails digging into her arms and thighs made her nether regions clench. No matter how much she wanted to ignore it Heather Chandler had grown attached to her best friend in a way that was sure to send her straight to Hell. 

She liked Veronica Sawyer. Heather let out a long groan that increased in volume as she picked up her pillow violently. Her hands ripped at the fabric and her chest tightened in fury. She fisted the pillow in her hands, ripping it open in the process, and buried her now screaming face into it. She only stopped when her hands had cramped and her face had turned red. With a tired huff she tossed the feathery heap onto the floor and pulled out her phone.

**7:35 PM**

**You Can't Sit With Us**

**Heather C- veronica cant sit w/ us anymore**

**Heather Mc- What ;0 why?!?!**

**Heather D- Yeah, last time I checked you two were five seconds away from having sex. What gives?**

Heather pursed her lips at the poorly timed jab but continued typing. 

**Heather C- Dont ask questions tmrw if she tries 2 sit w/ us just kick her out. got it?**

**Heather Mc- Did you 2 fight??**

**Heather C- yes turns out veronica was just using tutoring as an excuse to hit on me. when i tried to explain that im straight she got angry & kissed me. **

**Heather D- Really? That doesn't sound like something Veronica would do, especially to her friend.**

**Heather Mc- Yeah are you sure thats what happened??? Maybe it was a misunderstanding?**

**Heather C- yes im fucking sure heather. do you think i of all people wouldnt know when someone is fucking hitting on me??? she made a move on me against my wishes.**

**Heather Mc- I believe you Heather I promise! I was just confused because I couldnt believe Ronnie would do something that mean :( Im sorry.**

**Heather D- Yeah... a real bitchy move.**

Heather sighed and set her phone down on her nightstand. Problem solved, no one would believe Veronica over the word of the queen bee herself. No one would have to know the truth. Despite the smirk on her face, Heather felt something deep within her ache as dreams of artsy brunettes fluttered into her head. 

\--

Their stares were different today. Instead of looks of pity and curiosity there was hostility written on their faces. Veronica avoided the sharp gazes and stared down at her black sneakers. They were new and she had been looking forward to showing them to Heather because she was always complaining about how ugly and ragged her old shoes were. The brunette frowned after realizing she couldn't do that now, Heather probably didn't want to speak to her ever again. The thought of never seeing Chandler again made heart shrivel up the tiniest bit. At least she could still hang out with Duke and McNamara.

She was wrong, the moment her eyes met the other two she felt her chest collapse further. Their eyes were filled with anger unlike the rest of the gazes she had been met with prior to entering the cafeteria. No, this was personal and Veronica felt a sneaking suspicion as to why. Somehow, the school had found out about last night. She doubted Heather had told the student populace the whole truth based on the way they were looking at her. Instead, she turned to the corner of the cafe towards the only people not radiated contempt. Martha and Betty looked up at her with concern as she hesitantly sat down. The two glanced at each other nervously as if unsure how to greet her. 

She cracked a shaky smile, "Hey, guys," her voice was unbearably quiet. 

"Hi, Veronica. How are you?" Martha asked cautiously, as if she would snap at any moment. 

"Um confused," Veronica admitted, glancing around the room at the some of the people still looking her way. 

"You haven't heard the rumors? It's all over Instagram and Snapchat," Betty said, adjusting her glasses. 

"What rumors?"

"That you kissed Heather Chandler when tutoring her yesterday. They said you forcefully made a move on her and she had to kick you out of her house."

Veronica clenched her fists and felt her face flush with anger. "That's what she said happened? Bullshit," she spat, banging her fist against the table. 

Martha flinched at her tone before speaking up, "What happened then? People are pretty upset about it."

"It's true that I kissed her and it's true that she kicked me out but the rest is is fat fucking lie," she ground out. The two looked at her like she had grown an extra head so, she sighed and continued in a forcefully calm tone. "I kissed her and things escalated into sex," they gasped, "However she never said no or appeared hesitant at all. She reciprocated all of my advances and didn't once attempt to push me away. She kicked me out because she got cold feet not because I was being a predator." 

Becky's mouth was agape as she struggled to speak, "Gosh, for real? I can't believe she would do something like that... well actually I could but, it's still a crappy thing to do!" she exclaimed. 

Martha nodded in agreement and set her hand on top of Veronica's own, "I'm so sorry, Veronica." The brunette offered her a sad smile in response. "If you don't mind me asking, why did you kiss her in the first place?"

Veronica bit her lip and pondered the question. How was she supposed to explain how she fell for the queen bee and their bully? "Well, after JD died, Heather and I grew closer. She was nicer to me and almost caring; it was as if she liked me and I wasn't just her lapdog. Then, one thing led to another and her strange kindness almost seemed normal for her, and I found myself repeating the same mistake I made in middle school." 

"I don't think I've every heard of someone describing Heather Chandler as sweet and caring in my life," Betty said. "It's like seeing a fish on a bike." 

"I think it's sweet... up until she pulled a Regina George that is," Martha replied, scratching the back of her neck. 

"Yeah, well that's over for good now. I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you two but, is there anyway we could be friends again?"

The two looked at each other and grinned, "Of course, we forgave you when you said yes to movie night last week," Martha beamed, practically squealing at the prospect of getting her best friend back. 

"Plus, we were never really angry at you. Any of us would have leaped at the opportunity of being friend's with the Heathers," Betty added. 

Veronica felt the heaviness in her chest lift slightly as she gave them a watery smile. Before the Heathers-and perhaps during the Heathers as well- Betty and Martha were the only people Veronica had to rely on. When she was told they could no longer hang out she had been crestfallen at the idea of leaving them behind. Now she felt as if maybe the loss of Heather would be more tolerable than she thought. 


	10. AUTHOR'S UPDATE

Yo people, I have officially started school. That being said updates might be slower now because f the stress of going to school back to school in a pandemic (especially high school :/ ). That being said I hope y'all are being safe both at school, work, or whatever. Bear with me while I further the story! :D


	11. You Make Me Feel Almost Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica's living in Heather's mind rent free y'all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chansaw officially takes off after this chapter. Promise ;)

Veronica was back where she started. When Heather had been there to help her, Veronica had at least tried to eat and sleep. Now, since Martha and Betty didn't have any classes with her and she didn't have anymore sleepovers to attend; she spent most of her time alone. JD occasionally dropped by to pester her, however, he eventually gave up after her fifth time ignoring his antics. Veronica never thought she would miss the Heathers constantly bothering her. It had been annoying and borderline smothering, she couldn't go one day without them popping up. Realistically she should be relieved at the break. Then why did she miss them so much?

Well, it was more like she missed Chandler. The other two were great, and they certainly had their friendly moments but, Heather had always been different. Veronica couldn't get her out of her head no matter how hard she tried. She reminded herself over and over that Chandler was a horrible person. She was a treacherous bitch who played with her emotions only to back out at the last second. She should feel nothing but resentment for what she had done to Veronica at her most vulnerable. Yet, there was still a little mournful part of her that yearned to return to Heather's bed. That chunk of her heart wanted nothing more than to grovel and apologize to Chandler, despite knowing she had done nothing wrong. Another part of her wanted to throttle Heather within an inch of her life for how she had been treated. That part of her wanted to scream and punch walls, wanted to get in fights every time someone muttered 'dyke' around her.

She did none of these things. Instead, she stayed silent. Every time she saw the Heathers in the hallways on her way to class, she would go the long way. When Kurt and Ram mocked her she would simply glance over at them and keep walking. She changed the subject whenever Betty and Martha tried to express their concerns, talking about school or a new movie instead. She didn't go into the girl's bathroom at all. When she went home her facade would inevitably shatter and she would end up staring at her iMessage app, waiting. Veronica would scoff after an hour or so, scolding herself for acting like a dependent puppy. She would then toss her phone aside and bury herself in homework. When her mother came in to tell her dinner was ready she would give a phony excuse for not coming down and would continue her work. This worked for about a week before her mom started growing worried. 

Veronica was pondering over her essay for English when a knock sounded from the door. She frowned, "Come in, Mom." 

Her mother shuffled in with an apologetic smile and furrowed brows. Her daughter restrained her eye roll, she knew that look well. "Hello, Sweetie," the older Sawyer greeted.

"What do you need, Mom?" she asked, shutting her laptop. 

"Well, I was just here to tell you that dinner is ready. We made your favorite, spaghetti." 

"Thanks Mom, maybe I'll come down later." 

Veronica was about to turn back to her laptop when a hand was placed on her shoulder, "By later you mean not at all," her mother corrected.

Veronica really did roll her eyes now, "I said I will come down later, Mom. Don't worry about it."

"Honey, please talk to me. I can't remember the last time you ate at home," her mother pleaded, a desperate look on her face. 

Veronica scowled defensively and stood, "I eat lunch," she insisted.

"You can't live off of one meal a day, Veronica. It isn't healthy, not to mention that you never sleep anymore." Her mother guided them both to sit on her bed, "Please, talk to me. What is wrong?" 

Veronica swallowed and looked into her mother's worried eyes. An exact mirror of her own. They sat there for a moment before Veronica felt a crack in her dam. Tears fell down her cheeks as she clasped a hand over her mouth. The week caught up to her as she fell forward into her mother's extended arms. The woman clucked her tongue and pulled her closer, stroking her frazzled hair. Veronica melted into the woman's soft embrace as she let four weeks worth of grief. 

"Heather Chandler hates me," she mumbled from her mother's shoulder.

Mrs.Sawyer lets out a noise of confusion and gently pulls away from her, "Heather you mean the red one?" Veronica nodded solemnly. "I know she can be... difficult, but why would she hate you, Dear?" 

"I-I kind of kissed her," Veronica explained sheepishly. "But she kissed me back so I thought that maybe she liked me too. Then, she kicked me out of her house."

Her mother hummed and pondered her situation before asking, "Does Heather know if she likes girls?" Veronica shook her head. "Well, from what I know about the Chandler's, they are a very important family. And, important families tend to have a lot of standards for their children. Maybe Heather doesn't want to admit she likes girls because she has been taught not to accept that kind of stuff."

"I guess but, she didn't have to tell the whole fucking school," Veronica complained, crossing her arms. 

"Language," her mother warned. Veronica winced apologetically. "But, yes I agree that was an awful thing to do. That doesn't mean you can stop living, Honey. I know your life has been rough lately and I can't say I know how that feels. But, the best thing you can do for JD, Heather, and most importantly yourself is to take care of yourself. Prove to them that you don't need them," her mother put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Someday you will find someone who will stick around, and when that happens, I'm sure they would want you in one piece," she joked softly. Veronica huffed a laugh and leaned into the older woman's touch.

"Thanks Mom."

"Anytime, now come downstairs or I'll carry you down there. Lord knows you don't weigh that much." 

\-- 

Heather wasn't a sentimental person. She didn't keep birthday cards or family photos, they only served to clutter her room. She had no problem ditching people as well. If they got in the way Heather would kick them to the curb and find someone new. That principle went out the window the moment she saw the photo booth pictures. A few months ago, she and Veronica had gone to the mall alone. They had spent the entire day there shopping, talking, and eating. Veronica had practically jumped at the idea of the photo booth and had dragged Heather halfway across the mall to get to it. Chandler had groaned but went along with it. They had taken five photos, all with varying levels of silliness. After the machine had spit out two copies of the pictures, Veronica had eagerly taken one with a smile. At the time, Heather had insisted they would end up right in her trash the moment she got home. They ended up on her cork board and had stayed their until Heather ripped them off two days ago. 

Despite herself, Chandler couldn't muster up the strength to throw the stupid strip of pictures away. They were stupid and the camera quality had made them both look awful, however, they both looked happy. Veronica had both her arms thrown around Heather in an awkward side hug as she beamed into the camera. The look made her heart flutter slightly, much to her frustration. She groaned and tossed the pictures onto her bed, desperately trying to rid of them for the fifth time that week.

Veronica was a traitor. She kissed her without permission and had tricked her into having sex. 

_It isn't really tricking if you reciprocate. You know Veronica, if you told her to stop she would have without question._

Heather groaned and fell backwards onto her bed. What was the point of cutting someone off if they continue to bother you anyway? The worst part about it was when Veronica past by them in the halls, she wouldn't even look at her. The lanky brunette would just stare down at her books and hurry by. Heather yearned to run after Veronica and plead for her forgiveness, to kiss her, to do _anything_ other than ignore her. But, then she saw Kurt and Ram leer down at the brunette as they murmured insults behind her back. She couldn't let that be her, no matter how much she wanted to talk to Veronica about that night. 

She had dreams about them together, dreams where Heather didn't kick the brunette out. In those fantasies they would lay in bed together, kissing as the world faded around them. Veronica would murmur nothings into her ear and rake her hands down her naked body. She would ride the brunette's fingers until everything else that wasn't Veronica Sawyer became white noise. Then, just as she was so close to exploding into oblivion, Heather would awake to her empty bed. Again and again and again.

The dreams were so tantalizing she couldn't stomach the thought of hooking up with a random frat boy. So Heather did something she never thought to do. She skipped parties. Heather and Heather had been confused at first, wondering what had caused the sudden change. Heather had told them that there were no parties important enough for her to go to lately. That was another change, the Heathers. After she had broken the news about Veronica to the two, she had been hanging out with them less. Whether for fear of being found out or something else entirely, she wasn't certain. Regardless, she kept their hangouts to school and Fridays. Today was one of those Fridays. 

They had been idly watching movies and playing meaningless drinking games until Duke went out to pick up more snacks. Now, she and Mac were silently watching the Bachelor as they waited for Heather Duke's return. McNamara had been relatively silent towards her since the whole Veronica debacle. Around Chandler she was strangely pensive, as if she knew something the other didn't. It was easy to say the silence surrounding them was thick. 

"I know how you feel about Veronica." The silence was cut in half by Mac's voice. 

Heather practically jumped out of her skin as she turned to face McNamara. "What?" she asked, shellshocked by the sudden statement.

Mac rolled her eyes, "Oh come on, Heather. Did you really think you two were being subtle? I see how you two look at each other."

"What the hell are you on about, Mac?" she asked, her voice rising an octave. Heather knew. Of fucking course she knew, Mac was bubbly but she wasn't stupid. If anyone were to know it would be her.

"Heather, when Jason died and you two started hanging out more, Veronica started looking at you different. When you two were around each other it was like you forgot entirely about the rest of us. Not to mention the casual handholding, since when were you a touchy feely person?" She challenged, crossing her arms. 

"You must be drunker than I thought, Heather. I do not have feelings for Veronica-fucking-sawyer, I'm straight. The only reason I did all those things is because her boy toy had just ate dirt. I didn't want her to mope around the school the rest of the year." 

"Cut the shit, I have known you since Kindergarten. You have never, _never,_ looked at a me or Heather the way you look at Veronica," Heather insisted. "You have never looked at anyone the way you look at her actually." 

Heather bit her lip as she felt her wall crumbling at it's foundation. She felt panic rumble through her as she desperately tried to repair the wall around her heart. No one could know about her feelings, it wasn't safe. Despite herself, she found words tumbling from her lips, "We had sex. Veronica and I. Um, and I liked it, a lot," she confessed, her words uncharacteristically shaky. 

Heather paused, "Oh," she mumbled, "So what you said about you and Veronica?"

She shook her head, "It was a lie." 

Mac's face softened and she felt the shorter girl's arms wrap around her. Heather tensed before leaning into the touch. "Heather, you really are shit at emotions. You know that?" she muttered.

Heather huffed and buried her face into the blonde hair under her nose. "Shut up."

"What are you going to do?" 

"I don't know," she confessed with a shrug.

"You have to tell people the truth, Heather. Veronica doesn't deserve this." 

Chandler tensed and pulled away from Mac's grasp. She scowled as her walls slammed up. "I can't do that."

"You need to."

"No I don't, she's been through this before and she survived. Now drop it." 

"That's exactly why you need to tell the truth, Chandler. She shouldn't have to go through that again. Especially not if you return her feelings." 

"I said drop it!" Heather snapped, her clenching her shaking hands. Her tone softened as she stood and turned, "Besides, what would you know about this situation?"

"A lot more than you think."

Heather scoffed, "Oh yeah? Try me."

"Me and Heather have been dating for a year now." 

The room went silent as Chandler opened and closed her mouth in shock. Realistically, it made sense. Heather and Heather were a lot closer than they had been in sophomore year. They were texting and holding hands constantly. Duke had even let Heather take her to a therapist a few months ago so that she could talk about her bulimia. Heather was stupid for not realizing it sooner. "Oh."

"Yeah," Mac chuckled before sobering. "Now, trust me when I say it won't get better unless you talk to her." 

Chandler looked out at her Porsche parked in Mac's driveway before glancing back at the girl herself. "I have to go."

Mac smiled and nodded, "Don't mess it up," she replied before turning back to the TV.

Heather parked down the street from Veronica's house. The neighborhood was much smaller than her own but, it was also a lot friendlier. She had always liked how quaint Veronica's house was with it's white picket fence and it's dorky little welcome mat. Her parent's were also a lot more friendly than her own. Despite their obvious disdain for Heather, they would still offer her hospitality and well wishes. Chandler's parents said good morning to her on a good day. Ignoring the pang of jealousy, Heather attempted to turn the front door's knob. She groaned quietly when she found it to be locked, so much for the easy way. The sun had set about an hour ago, leaving the yard cloaked in shades of blue and gray. Heather crept around to where she knew Veronica's window would be, and thanked God for the large oak next to her house. 

Heather quickly found out that she was a bad climber. The bark dug into her knees and arms, breaking off her acrylic nails. She kicked her shoes off with a curse, grasping onto a branch as she propelled herself up. Finally, with a myriad of curses and about five splinters, Heather crawled through Veronica's window. She panted, resting her head against the window sill for a moment. _Fuck windows._

She stood, and looked around. Veronica must have been in the shower. Heather sighed impatiently and sat down on the girl's twin bed. Veronica's room was even dorkier than her. Posters of movies and videos games Heather would never dream of watching or playing lined the walls. Not to mention Ricardo. Heather huffed as she grabbed the ratty bear. It was so stupid and endearing and _Veronica._ Heather dropped the bear and looked up as she heard the door click open. Veronica walked in in a white bathrobe, her wet hair up into a bun. 

"Veronica!" she greeted, standing. 

\--

Veronica yelped and jumped back, "Heather? What the fuck are you doing in my house!" she cried, clutching her chest. Out of all of the things she had expected from tonight, this was not one of them. 

Heather shrugged, "I sent you a text beforehand." 

Veronica fished out her phone and confirmed this, "That doesn't give you the right to break into my home at 9:00 PM," she snapped, tugging her bathrobe over her chest. "What do you want anyway? I thought we weren't speaking." 

Then, Heather took a step towards her, then another and another. Then, her hands were on the lapels of her bathrobe and she was yanking them together. A shockwave ricochetted through her as their lips met. Heather Chandler had broke into her house and kissed her. After weeks of spreading rumors and outright ignoring her she was kissing her. Veronica felt a sickening mixture of moths and butterflies burst through her. The moths outweighed the butterflies. She shoved Heather away, placing a hand over her lips. 

"What the hell, Heather?" she snapped, glaring over at the confused blonde.

"What?"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she hissed, stepping towards Chandler. Anger roiled through her at the sight of the genuinely perplexed girl. She had absolutely no idea why Veronica was mad at her. Veronica wanted to slap her. 

"Uh, apologizing?" she shrugged. 

"That wasn't an apology, Heather! I'm sorry never left your lips," Veronica slammed the door behind her. "You can't just spread a false rumor about me, ignore me, then break into my home and kiss me!"

Heather frowned, furrowing her brows in a way Veronica would have found cute had she not been overwhelmed with emotion already. "But-"

"No buts, Heather! You can't decide that you take the whole thing back after excommunicating me from the entire school." 

"But I'm ready this time, I promise. I really like you, Veronica," Heather pleaded, seemingly realizing that the apology was not working the way she had planned. 

Veronica shook her head and groaned. "But I'm not. You made me relive the exact same thing Regina George did to me in middle school, Heather."

"This is different, I return your feelings," Heather insisted, stamping her foot in protest. 

"It doesn't matter, the damage is still done." 

"I can make it up to you, I'll do anything!" Heather pleaded, grabbing both of Veronica's hands with her own.

Veronica ignored how soft her hands were as she pulled away. "Really? Then go on Instagram and tell everyone that you lied about what I did to you." 

Heather stayed silent as she stared down at her feet. 

Veronica scoffed, "That's what I thought. Heather I like you too; more than I probably should. But, I don't deserve to be treated like one of your hookups."

"I didn't mean to..." the blonde protested weakly. 

"But you did Heather, and that's what hurts the most. You saw that you liked me back and instead of talking to me about it, you shut me down like I was just another frat boy." 

Heather looked up at her, looking more like a scolded puppy than a queen bee. The blonde pursed her lips and sat down gently on her bed. "I fucked up, Veronica," she mumbled. 

Despite herself, Veronica chuckled and sat down next to her, "You're killing me, Red." 

Heather sniffled, and Veronica looked up to realize she was crying. The brunette let out a long sigh before opening her arms in silent invitation. Chandler looked up at her for a moment, obviously shocked by the invite. She then smiled and leaned into the hug with a sigh. Veronica rested her head atop Heather's own before looking down at the girl. She looked so much smaller in her arms, almost like she was human. Veronica guided them both to rest against her headboard. 

"We're a mess, huh?" she mumbled into the blonde curls below her.

Heather puffed a shaky laugh, "The biggest," she agreed. Chandler pulled away and looked up at her. "Hey, Ronnie?"

"Yeah?"

"How do I make it up to you?" 

Veronica pondered the question for moment, "Just be honest with me." 


	12. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im not dead... oops

Heather's lips had become like the air Veronica needed to breathe. The entire weekend the two dragged each other into the nearest empty room like cats in heat. Heather would sneak a hand on her thigh at dinner, Veronica would excuse herself to the bathroom, knowing the blonde would follow. One thing that Veronica learned over the course of two days was that Heather was the clingiest lover in the world. She would sling her arms around Veronica in order to get her attention, and when Veronica ignored her she would groan loudly and start to kiss the taller teen's neck. Veronica would eventually give in and pin the girl to the nearest wall in order to shut her up. It worked. 

They didn't do much talking beyond flirtation and foreplay, which suited both of them just fine. Talking had become obsolete, a mere obstacle blocking them from getting to their shared motive. Their hands would link and their bodies would writhe in a potent mix of pleasure, sweat, and cotton sheets. Afterward, they would lay as close as possible, too warm bodies still tangled together on top of Veronica's creaky, and now torn, mattress. That was where she found herself on Monday morning. Her phone told her it was 4:30 am- two hours before her alarm. Her body was in an unbearable limbo between exhausted and buzzing and Heather was snoring like a hibernating bear. She wasn't quite sure why she was awake at this time, probably her body revolting after her fourth round with Heather. Veronica silently huffed and looked down at said girl; she was sleeping with half of her naked body draped over Veronica's torso. Even in the dark she could see the freckles dotting her back like the glow-in-the dark stars on her ceiling. 

They reminded Veronica of pointillism, dots forming an abstract world all over Heather's slender body. A brown and gold and pink Van Gogh painting. Heather always covered them up with long sleeves or foundation, saying they made her look like she had leprosy. Veronica was one hundred percent certain Heather didn't actually know what leprosy was, much less what it looked like. Regardless of what disease they supposedly looked like, she adored them. They were soft and cheery; everything Heather was but refused to show. God, it was too early to be thinking about stuff this deep. Veronica sighed and shifted in her place, Heather responded by grumbling and wrapping her arms blindly around her. She chuckled and planted a barely there kiss on the girl's head. 

"Wow, sleeping with the ring leader of the Lipstick Gestapo? This is below you, Darling," Veronica held back a yelp as JD's sickly blue glow filled the room. The spirit laughed and sat down on her desk chair, "What, not happy to see me? Funny, because you have been ignoring me for almost a week now." 

"I have been busy," she whispered sharply. 

"With what, sixty-nining your new fuck buddy?" 

"Shut up, she isn't my fuck buddy." 

"Oh isn't she? Let's see," JD stood and strode toward her. "You two have done nothing but fuck the entire weekend. I at least took you out on a date first." 

"To 7-11," Veronica clarified.

"Still, I at least tried. What has Heather done besides ruin your social life?" Veronica didn't answer. "Exactly." 

"You don't know anything about her," she bit out. 

"I know her type rich, privileged, apathetic. People like her do not care about people like us, Veronica. She belongs with a guy with a perfect smile, a tailored suit, and two beach houses." 

"Well, maybe I can be all of those things for her." JD looked at her and laughed before fading into the darkness of the early morning. 

Heather stirred," 'Onica, who're you talkin' to?" she mumbled. 

Veronica shushed her gently and ran a hand down her back, "Don't worry about it, Red. Go back to sleep." Heather grumbled and nuzzled into her further. Despite herself Veronica felt her heart swell at the feeling. JD had to be wrong about her, Heather was a lot of things but she would never do that to her best friend. Right? Right. Right...

Veronica was awoken to the sound of loud beeping. She groaned loudly and hit the stop button, her argument with JD still fresh on her mind. Still, she put her anger on the back burner and looked around for Heather. For once the girl had woken up before her. Usually it was Veronica who would be dragging the disgruntled blonde out of bed, however, she was no where to be found. Veronica grunted and got to her feet, feeling the worn carpet beneath her bare feet. Exhaustion tugged at her as she trudged over to the bathroom only to find it locked with the sound of the shower running. _So that's where Heather is. Figures she would take up all the warm water in my own home._

Deciding to forgo a shower entirely, Veronica snagged a black denim skirt, a blue crop top, and solid low rise black Vans. It was a simple outfit, but a decent one nonetheless. She remembered the day she had bought the Vans, she was with the Heathers and she had decided she needed to replace her converse. Heather Chandler had remarked that they were "lesbo shoes". _Oh how the tables have turned._ Veronica smirked as she stepped into the skirt. Now they were fingering each other under the covers every night. After getting dressed she wandered to the kitchen and found breakfast already made for the two of them. 

Veronica was just about to tuck into her eggs when she heard the telltale sounds of feminine footsteps enter the kitchen. She grinned up at a freshly showered and dressed Heather, "Good morning, Beautiful."

Heather smirked at her and kissed her cheek, "Morning," she replied in her unbearably sultry morning voice. 

"My mom made us eggs and bacon," she said, gesturing to the stovetop. 

After gathering some breakfast of her own Heather wandered over to their old off-white coffee machine. She wrinkled her nose, "How do you use this thing anyway?" she asked, poking it as if it were a dead animal. 

Veronica rolled her eyes and shooed Heather out of her way. The blonde huffed but stepped away and allowed her to make the coffee. "Creamer or no?"

"None." 

Veronica smiled her approval at the girl's decision and handed her the mug. In a very Heather fashion, she nodded without saying thank you an sat down. The two ate in comfortable silence until Chandler spoke up, "So, how will you be getting to school?" 

Veronica looked up in confusion as she cleared her place, "I thought I was getting a ride with you?" 

"No you're the one who accosted me in my room, remember?" Heather drawled.

"But I didn't, we both know that."

"Yeah, but Westerburg doesn't," Chandler pointed out, much to Veronica's frustration.

"Then you can tell them that you lied." 

Heather sighed and looked up at Veronica as if she were the biggest idiot in the world, "I can't tell them the truth Veronica; the whole student body would be up my ass with rumors."

"They have been up my ass all week!" Veronica argued, gritting her teeth. 

Heather made a brief look that almost looked like guilt before quickly concealing it. Instead, Chandler walked over to her and rested a hand on her cheek. Veronica, who was in no mood for affection, jerked her head away and crossed her arms. She thought that now that they were... something other than friends, Heather would be less difficult. _How foolish of me_. Her mind wandered back to Jason and his stupid snide remarks. _Perhaps he was right, maybe she did just see her as an easy fuck._ Veronica scowled and pushed the thoughts away; JD didn't know jack shit about relationships, both platonic or romantic. 

Heather sighed and placed a hand on Veronica's arm, "Ronnie, Darling look at me," she murmured. Veronica huffed but acquiesced."We're happy, aren't we?" Veronica bit her lip and nodded. Heather smiled and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss her cheek, "Isn't that all that matters? We don't need the schools approval or knowledge to make us _us_."

Veronica considered this for a moment, she had been rejecting what people thought of her since middle school. Yet, something inside of her wanted to scream from the rooftops that she had _finally_ earned Heather's affection, that she had been able to do something not even those stupid frat boys could do. She wanted to kiss and hug and flirt with Chandler in front of all of Westerburg just to rub it in their homophobic faces. She wanted to call that bitch Regina George and tell her that she didn't care about what she had done to her anymore, that it no longer hurt her. How could it when she had Heather fucking Chandler at her side? However, if Heather wasn't ready then she supposed she didn't have a choice, "Okay, yeah you're right," she said with a tight lipped smile. 

Heather offered a soft grin of her own and pulled her in for a tender kiss. Veronica melted against the shorter girl, embracing the taste of coffee and red lipstick. The anger and disappointment in her melted as she wrapped her arms around Heather's petite waist. Chandler pulled away with one last quick peck on the nose. Veronica wrinkled her nose in faux annoyance and made a show of wiping it away. Heather rolled her eyes and flicked her forearm, "Alright dork, I'll see you after school." 

"See you," she replied with that same goofy grin she got every time Heather gave her the slightest bit of affection. The Queen Bee grabbed her Louis Vuitton clutch bag and strode out the door with the confidence of actual royalty. Veronica chuckled at the girl's familiar swagger and grabbed her backpack. She poured her second cup of coffee into a thermos that wouldn't spill on the bike ride to school. _Hopefully at least._ Veronica walked out to her garage and grabbed her navy colored bike before kicking off down the street. The morning was chilled with the familiar feel of early autumn. Trees were now tinted with the color of flames, domestic wildfires swaying in the breeze. The street was quiet save for the whirring of her wheels, for the moment everything was serene and still. That came to a crashing halt minutes after it arrived. 

"Hey it's the resident carpet muncher!" Kurt bellowed from out the window of his red Chevy Silverado. Veronica cringed and looked over at him "Wanna ride, Darlin'?" he gestured to what Veronica assumes could either be his backseat or his dick; either one was plausible. 

"No I'm good, thank you," she grit out before continuing her ride.

"Oh come on, 'Ronica don't be rude just get in," Ram called from the passenger seat. 

"Come onnn it'll be fun, God becoming a lesbian has made you frigid," Kurt remarked.

"I said I'm fine," she snapped.

Ram scowled, opened the passenger seat and hopped out. Veronica was about to ride off when the muscular teen grabbed the handlebars of her bike. 

"He said get in the car," the teen grunted, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the muddy truck. 

Veronica knew when she was fighting a losing battle; she sighed and hopped off the bike, allowing Ram to lift it up onto the bed of the truck. She felt dread weigh down heavy in her gut as she climbed into the back of Kurt's truck. The backseat smelled of weed and cigarette ash and the cushions were stained from unknown origins. She cringed and clicked her seatbelt into place. 

Kurt peered at her from the rearview mirror with a smirk, "So, the Flower Power Squad ditch you?" he sneered. 

"No, _Martha_ and _Betty_ walk to school," she replied pointedly.

"Woah touchy, period cramps that bad this month?" Ram shot back. Kurt snickered and gave him a fist bump. "We just wanted to talk." 

"What do you want to talk about that would require you to kidnap me?" 

"We have an offer," Ram replied, his smirk growing sharper. "Go on a date with me." 

"What?" Veronica blurted, eyes widening.

"You heard me, I've never dated a lesbo before and I'm curious."

"First of all, I'm not a lesbian I'm bisexual. Second, why in the hell would I ever do that?"

"Because if you don't we'll make school worse than it already is. Not only will you be the outcast, you'll be the whore that got spit roasted by the head quarter back and the linebacker." 

Veronica gasped and dug her fingers into the seat cushion. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because, ever since you came along Heather has refused to give us a good fuck. We figure if you're going to cock block us you might as well pay us back what we owe."

"None of us owe you anything!" she snapped, unclipping her seatbelt. "Pullover I want to get out." 

"Not until you answer him," Ram shot, shoving her back into the seat. "Make a decision dyke. Are you going to be the schools slut or our slut?" 

Veronica felt nausea build up in her throat as she sat back in the seat. What was she going to do? 


	13. She is the Eye of the Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter includes tones of date rape and homophobic slurs

Veronica sucked in a shaky breath and bunched the hem of her denim skirt. "Okay, I'll do it." 

Ram whooped and punched Kurt in the shoulder, "Dude, she actually said yes."

"Text us your address and we will pick you up at 7," Kurt smirked and set a hand on her knee, "Wear something nice."

Veronica cringed but did not comment on the hand resting on her knee. Panic clanged through her chest like a warning bell and she found that her hands had started to shake. What the hell had she gotten herself into? "I thought you said it was just going to be me and Ram?" she questioned.

Kurt scoffed, "You cock blocked _both_ of us, 'Ronica," he sneered and leaned in across the middle console, "So now you're getting two for the price of one, lucky you." 

Ram pulled into one of the student parking spaces near the back of the school and turned back to face her, "See you then, 'Ronica." He winked and hopped out of the truck. Veronica grumbled and walked around the truck in order to pull her bike from the bed. It was rather heavy and the two jocks had already raced ahead, giggling like schoolgirls. Veronica roughly set the bicycle onto the asphalt and started wheeling it to the bike racks. How the hell was she going to get out of this? Ram and Kurt were infamous for their questionable behavior during dates. The stories she had heard from the Heathers about attempted date rape and poor manners made her skin crawl. 

Veronica practically ran through the halls to get to the bathrooms. The Heathers were practically never at their first period, something about it being too early to learn. Panic spurred her on as she practically ripped the restroom door from its hinges. Her chest rose and fell from rushing to get there and her hair was most likely windswept past the point of repair. 

In the bathroom the Heathers practically jumped out of their skin at the sound of the door banging open, they whirled around prepared to yell at whoever had entered their bathroom. "Jesus fuck, Veronica. Violent much?" Duke snapped before turning back to the mirror. 

Heather Chandler inspected her with disgruntled curiosity, "Where the hell have you been."

"That's what I need to talk to you about," she glanced apologetically to the McNamara and Duke, "in private."

Chandler looked over at the pair and jerked her head towards the door, "Go to class you two."

Duke groaned, "Come on. What could be so important that you two need to speak in private?"

Heather McNamara looked between the two and sighed, "Let's go, Heather," she grabbed the girls hand with a smile.

The girl looked ready to protest however, she eventually softened and nodded, "Fine." Mac smiled and led her out the door to class. 

Heather turned back to face Veronica, "What's wrong? Why were you so late to school?"

Veronica inhaled and leaned against the sink counter, "I was riding my bike to school when Kurt and Ram stopped me in Kurt's truck. They..." Veronica gulped, "I need you to tell them to leave me alone Heather." 

Heather scrunched up her nose, her eyes hardening in annoyance, "We have talked about this Veronica. I can't risk it." 

"Please Heather, they blackmailed me into going on a date with them," Veronica pleaded, desperation seeping into her voice. "I can't go on that date, _please_." 

"Veronica I have been on dozens of dates with those assholes. As long as you flirt and laugh at their dumb jokes you will be fine. Now stop asking." 

Veronica felt her hands start to shake for an entirely different reason outside of fear. A tether in her chest that she didn't know was there until now snapped. "You know what? Fuck you, Heather."

Chandler's face contorted in shock and rage, "Excuse me?" 

"Since the day we met I have bent to your every whim. I have done everything I could to make you happy, and you know why? Because I somehow got it in my head that you were a good person. I even forgave you when you called me a dyke despite me have absolutely no reason to because, _you were in the wrong,_ " Heather opened her mouth to argue but Veronica barreled on. "And now that I am being harassed by the entire school because of something _you_ did, you _still_ won't do anything. So I am done with you're bullshit, I do not deserve to be treated like your doormat." Veronica's chest rose and fell as she adjusted the straps of her backpack. "Until you can actually prove to me that you are worth my time; stay the fuck away from me," Veronica stormed out of the bathroom without a second glance. 

"Holy shit, Veronica!" JD cheered a grin spread across his pallid face. "I didn't know you were such a badass until now."

"Well you were right about her."

"I hate to say I told so."

"Liar," she scoffed, glancing over at the ghost. 

"Maybe a tad," he stopped smiling when he saw her upset frown. "What are you going to do about jackass 1 and 2?" 

"I'm going on the date," she sighed when she saw the sour expression on his face, "What other choice do I have? I'm not strong like you and Heather refuses to help." 

JD sighs and floats ahead of her, "This sucks. I would have never let that happen if I was alive." 

"Yeah but you're not," Veronica pointed out quietly.

"But I should be. If I was there we would be out dancing and baking brownies, not being roped into a date with two rapists." 

"I miss you," she blurted, her lip quivering. "You weren't perfect but at least you actually cared about what I had to say. You were... are the best person I have ever dated. It isn't fair that we never even got to our third date," she hissed, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"I know, Darling. I know," he murmured before fading away, leaving her alone once more. 

By the time lunch rolled around Veronica was about ready to explode. Every time she saw Kurt and Ram in the hallways she was expecting a bomb to go off. That's why she almost sobbed in relief when she saw Betty and Martha waiting eagerly for her to get to lunch. Their faces quickly fell when they saw the look of devastation on her face. "What's wrong, Veronica?" Martha asked, a sympathetic look on her face. 

"I'm screwed," she groaned, resting her face in her hands.

"What happened?" Betty questioned. 

Veronica sat up and scrubbed her face with her hands. She began to retell the events leading up to lunch, dread snapping in her stomach like a bear trap. "So now Heather officially hates me _and_ I have to go on a date with them."

"That's rough buddy," Betty said, patting her hand empathetically.

"Helpful thank you."

"Where's the date going to be?" Martha asked. 

"The field out by the cemetery."

Betty furrowed her brows, "That's... an awful place for a date."

"But a perfect place for a hookup," Veronica pointed out morosely. 

"Maybe you can just say you can't come because of a family emergency?" Martha suggested.

"They will never buy that."

"Well... maybe it will be fine?" 

Veronica scoffed in reply and propped her chin against her fist. She hoped school never ended. 

That night, Veronica put on a blue pleated skirt and a black crop top hoodie. It was nice enough to appease them but casual enough to have a date in a fucking cemetery. She applied winged eyeliner she often saw Heather Chandler wearing hoping it would give her some of the girl's blind arrogance. It didn't work. She sighed and lightly applied lip gloss McNamara had given her. Despite herself, she had to admit she looked hot. She was thinner than before and her eyes were a bit sunken, however, she looked every bit the popular bitch she had once tried to be. What a waste. 

As much as she hated to admit it, part of her wanted this date to be with Heather. After JD died the girl could not imagine being with anyone else other than her. She should wanted to choke the light out of Heather, not want to date her. It was infuriating that after everything she did her heart still couldn't let go. Chandler had her hook, line, and sinker and Veronica wanted nothing more than to let herself be reeled in. But, this wasn't a fantasy world and she was smart enough to avoid red flags when she saw them... most of the time. 

Veronica was yanked out of her thoughts by a knock on the door. "Come in."

Her mother walked in with an apologetic smile, "Veronica dear, you have some gentleman here to see you."

"Oh yeah, they're friends. I agreed to help them study earlier today."

"Well have fun and be safe okay?"

Veronica kissed her moms cheek and headed for the living room, "I'll be fine, Mom," she hoped so anyway. 

On the front porch stood Kurt and Ram dressed in wrinkled button up shirts and khaki pants. Kurt was swaying in a way that made Veronica believe he was more than a little drunk. "Hey, 'Rrronica you look," he paused to scan her up and down, "sexy."

"Are you drunk?"

"Relax we only had a little bit to loosen up, now come on," Ram said, placing a large hand on her back. 

Veronica cringed but climbed into the back of the truck. Across from her was a stack of two pizzas, a six pack and a half of beer, and a box of buffalo wings. She had not eaten lunch or breakfast today, however, she suddenly felt too sick to eat any of it. Ram and Kurt were too busy trying to rap along to a song that had popped up on Ram's Spotify to notice Veronica's face turning green. She tried to ignore the nausea and anxiety building in her stomach by looking out the small window. Houses slowly turned to corn fields as they got farther out of town, and Veronica started to lose hope that the night would be okay.

\--

Veronica was right... as always. It pained her to admit it but, Heather was a terrible person. Guilt had been eating her up from the inside out since she saw the brunette at lunch. The anxiety on Veronica's face had been painfully evident even from across the cafeteria. Not to mention the sound of Kurt and Ram's loud boasting could be heard by anyone in a 50 mile radius. She should have stood up for Veronica; she should have saved her. Not just from Kurt and Ram but, from herself as well. 

"You fucked up, Heather," she groaned quietly, staring down at the book she was trying to read. It was Dracula, one of Veronica's favorites, the brunette had prattled on about the historical context behind the book for around a half hour before Heather kissed her to shut her up. Heather didn't remember most of what Veronica had said but, she did remember how ethereal the girl had looked talking about it. Her eyes had been shining with excitement and her hands had been gesturing wildly as she tried to explain why the book was so important to her. Heather had asked to borrow the book later that night just to see that look in her eyes again. If only she had known how fucking boring the book was. 

She set the book aside and glanced over at her phone hesitantly. She had fought the urge to grab it at least a million times that night. Maybe she could just make sure she was doing okay? Yeah, that was reasonable. Heather's thumb hovered over Veronica's contact for a minute before taking a detour to tap Heather McNamara's instead. _Fucking coward,_ She berated silently. 

The phone rang for a minute before a familiar voice answered, ' _Hello_?' Mac asked cheerily.

"I screwed up, Mac," she moaned from the other end.

' _What did you do this time, Heather?'_

Chandler inhaled and began explaining the situation to her friend. McNamara waited patiently for the borderline hysterical girl to finish her story before letting out a long exasperated breath. ' _Chan, I swear I can't leave you alone with Veronica for two seconds without you finding a new way to hurt her feelings._ '

"What do I do?"

' _You know what you need to do Heather.'_

"I can't."

 _'Can't or won't?'_ Mac countered. Heather didn't reply. ' _What matters more to you, our classmate's opinions or Veronica?'_

"Veronica, obviously."

 _'Then why can't you show it? Veronica makes you happy I can tell; I have never seen you show this much emotion, good and bad, towards_ anyone _. Someone who makes you feel safe and happy deserves to have those feelings returned; they do not deserve to be left to be date raped by two jerk football players.'_

"I need to go get her," Chandler concluded, standing. 

' _Only if you are actually willing to stand up for her this time. If you aren't Duke and I will go get her and you will have to start working on letting her go.'_

Heather bit her lip, "I'm ready."

She could hear Mac's grin from the other line, _'Go get her, Chan.'_

Chandler hung up and quickly dialed a number she never thought she would need. Finally, after a century of waiting someone picked up the phone _._

 _'Hello, who is this?'_ Martha Dunnstock asked. 

"Martha this is Heather Chandler; I don't have anytime to explain. I need to know where Veronica is having her date."

 _'Heather, I thought you and Veronica aren't talking?'_ The girl asked skeptically.

"We aren't and it's my fault. Now, please tell me where she is."

' _First I need to know this isn't a prank or an attempt to hurt Veronica further.'_

"It isn't!" She snapped before taking a long drawn out breath, "It isn't I swear." 

_'They are having it at the field by the cemetery but, it's probably already started by now.'_

"Okay," Heather hesitated, "Thank you, Martha." She hung up before the girl could reply. Heather grabbed her coat and keys and rushed out the door. 

\--

"Aren' you goin' to eat anything?" Ram slurred curiously.

Veronica took a swig of her beer and shrugged, "I'm not that hungry." 

Kurt shrugged and took a huge bite of his pizza, "Suit yourself," he said through a full mouth of food. What a gentleman. Kurt set down his plate and took out a box of Camels, "Want one?" He asked, offering a cigarette. 

Veronica grabbed it, "Thanks," she muttered.

"No problem, Babe," he purred stroking his free hand down her knee. They had been doing that for the majority of the night, sneaking small touches and perverted looked. Veronica wanted to sock them. 

She lit it and took a long drag before blowing out the smoke into the starry sky. Other than a few flirtatious jabs and poor manners the night had been relatively uneventful. It felt like a bomb was ticking down to explode in her face. 

"Now I know why the brit's call 'em fags," Ram jested, nudging Kurt. "Eh Kurt?"

"I don't think she's actually a faggot," Kurt drawled, a sickening grin contorting his face. Veronica shifted away from him and bunched her fist in the grass. "I think she's been pretending to be a lesbian to get guys. I mean she practically shudders at our touch."

"Out of disgust," she corrected, feeling her heartbeat pick up. She exhaled a plume of cigarette smoke and tapped the leftover ash into the grass. 

"Playing hard to get just makes you hotter, Ronnie," he purred, scooting closer to the girl. He set down his beer and reached over to stroke her jawline with his finger, his moldy green eyes were burning holes in her lips. 

Veronica stumbled to her feet, legs suddenly feeling like a newborn fawn's. "I-I think I need to be heading home soon. Thank you for the pizza and the drinks."

The boys stood grins twisting their faces wolfishly. "Nonsense, we just got here an hour ago," Ram said, stepping closer. 

"No I'm fine, really." 

"C'mon don't leave us like this, Veronica. We need _relief,"_ Kurt murmured, grabbing her hand just a tad rougher than necessary. Veronica went to step back when she collided with Ram, who was now standing directly behind her. The boy wrapped his arms around her bare abdomen and stroked the skin there. 

"I can tell you want to have fun with us," Ram purred into her ear before nipping at her earlobe. Veronica gasped and attempted to jerk away. Her face contorted with fear and her eyes blurred with tears. This night was not going okay, not even close. The hummingbird in her chest was back banging around her chest. 

Kurt took her gasp as one of pleasure and smirked, "See, told you we would make this night worth while." Then he kissed her. The world seemed to spin faster and ground beneath her seemed to shake. Water filled her ears and eyes and nose and lungs; she couldn't breathe. Kurt forced his tongue into her mouth, he tasted of beer and cigarette ash. She felt Ram working to get her top off, which wasn't hard considering it was a cropped hoodie. His hands burned her now bare collarbone. His hands were plumes of fire and ice scalding and scratching her skin. Veronica twisted and tried to protest, tried to cover up her immodesty. She froze, however, when she felt something distinctly hard against her thigh. Tears burst from her eyes as she screamed into the kiss. Kurt pulled away and smirked. "We just started and you're already screaming? Damn we're good." He reached to unbuckle his khaki's, however, as soon as he did a familiar red heel collided with his crotch. 

The football player crumpled to the ground like paper and there stood Heather Chandler in all her glory. Her eyes were like chunks of dry ice as she gazed down at the boy. "I will give you cunts 5 seconds to get out of here before I tell the whole school I found you guys having gay sex." Ram scowled but grabbed Kurt by the arm and started jogging away. When they were gone Heather turned to face her, eyes shining with unadulterated fear and concern. She crouched down to where Veronica was sitting, her knees up to her bare chest. The water was still suffocating her as she tried to suck in breaths between her sobs. 

"Honey, I need you to look at me okay?" She coaxed. Shame ripped through Veronica as she stared at the grass. She couldn't look at Heather, not after what the girl had just witnessed. "Can you do that for me, Sweetheart?" Veronica let out a jagged whimper and slowly rose to meet Heather's eyes. Chandler smiled, a doting expression Veronica had never seen before filling gray eyes with compassion. "No one is ever going to hurt you again not Kurt, not Ram, and not me. I promise, and I'm sorry for not ensuring that earlier." 

Veronica opened her mouth to reply however, her lips started to quiver once more and shoulders started to quake. A fresh wave of tears stung her eyes and cheeks as she collapsed in on herself. Heather sat down across from her, cautious not to touch her. "Hey shhh, don't try to talk, take your time." Veronica nodded and sniffed, her eyes never leaving Heather's. "I need you to breathe okay? Can I touch you?" She asked gently.

Veronica felt fear grip her throat; ghosts of the burning calloused hands clawed at her. "N-no please don'- don't touch pl-please," she gasped scrambling away from Chandler.

Heather immediately scooted further from the girl, "Hey it's okay I won't I promise. You're safe with me just take your time. Just focus on my eyes okay? Can you do that for me?" She cooed quietly.

Veronica swallowed thickly and nodded. Heather's eyes had gone from cold steel to a warm stormy night and her face seemed to be bare of any makeup. Her expression filled Veronica with a warm humidity one would feel before the quiet storm. "I need you to breathe for 5 seconds in then 5 seconds out. Okay?" Veronica let in a raspy breath that was interrupted by a wheezy sob, her chest burned from the effort. "It's alright take your time," Heather coaxed. It took Veronica a few tries but eventually she managed to suck in enough air to appease her lungs. 

Heather smiled and nodded, "You're doing great, Honey. Can you stand?" Veronica nodded and stumbled to her feet. Heather wandered over to her discarded crop top and frowned when she found that it was ripped in half. "That's fine, take my coat," she shrugged it off and handed it to Veronica, careful not to touch any inch of her. 

"B-but it's below freezing at this point," Veronica protested, her voice quiet and scratchy. The temperature had dropped along with the sun a while ago making it bitterly cold.

"And you gave me your coat in the middle of a thunderstorm," Heather pointed out, a bit of her old humor poking through. Veronica was too tired to laugh so she grabbed the coat and put it on. The smell of vanilla and cherries wrapped around her like a blanket and she wanted nothing more than to sink into it. "Do you want to stay at my place? You don't have to but, it might be easier," Heather offered.

Veronica nodded, "Yeah I don't think I want to be alone tonight." 

Heather nodded, "Okay, I will text your mom for you. Let's go." 

By the time the two got home Veronica had gotten closer and closer to Heather. Currently Veronica had her face buried in the girl's neck with an arm around her abdomen. Heather wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders and rested her head atop the girl's own."Is this okay?" Heather asked, nerves shining through her voice. 

Veronica smiled at how gentle the girl was being and nodded, "Yeah, this is perfect." She nuzzled into the girl's neck and inhaled the sweet scent her shampoo. Heather kissed the top of her head and chuckled as Veronica moved her leg across her lap as well. 

"You're like a koala," Heather murmured, stroking her hands through the other's curls. Veronica practically purred at the feeling of those manicured nails scratching the top of her head. She leaned towards the touch in encouragement and placed a kiss on Chandler's shoulder. "Or a puppy," Heather corrected with a chuckle. She used her free hand to trace patterns on the girl's back, making sure not to reach too low. "Definitely a puppy." 

Veronica grumbled a halfhearted, "Shut up," she lightly slapped Heather's arm. Chandler chuckled and placed another series of kisses on the crown of her head. 

"You should probably get some sleep," Heather advised, hands never stopping their massage.

" 'M not tired though," Veronica murmured in protest. 

"Sure you aren't just, humor me. Okay?" 

\--

Heather had seen the purple rings around Veronica's eyes and the jaggedness of her ribs and she couldn't hep the worry that it sparked in her. She could feel Veronica opening her mouth to protest so instead of letting the girl wake herself up further; Heather started to sing,

_'Kiss me once_   
_Then, kiss me twice_   
_Then, kiss me once again_   
_It's been a long, long time,_

_Haven't felt like this, my dear_   
_Since can't remember when_   
_It's been a long, long time,_

_You'll never know_   
_How many dreams I dream about you_   
_Or just how empty they all seem without you_

_So, kiss me once_

  
_Then, kiss me twice_   
_Kiss me once again_   
_It's been a long, long time.'_

When Heather had finished singing she heard a light snore from the crook of her neck. She chuckled quietly and leaned down to grab the edge of the blankets before pulling them over her and the sleeping girl on her lap.   



End file.
